Why I’m Only a Bit of a Prostitute

Prostitution. I’m in favour. To not be is to be a hypocrite. But with limits.

Last weekend i spent a wonderful time in Kelowna. At the Delta. A big ass expensive hotel, with nice sheets. But sadly, not a view of the lake. For me anyway.

Technically, I was a prostitute. I was driven in the fellow’s car, had my meals and the room paid for [tho his business covered the room], enjoyed the gifts of lingerie and a summer dress, and got fucked a number of times in exchange.

I returned home with no $100 in my purse or anything tho. So technically… :)

But beyond technicalities, I hooked.

The guy was no stranger. He is the separated husband of a woman who taught at my school until last year. She was hard core in the micromanaging, cold fish, control freak way. She didn’t “get” students. And their need to not work 100% of their lives. They had been together for about 9 years. Married for  5. He got over her intensity and dumped her.

He works in branding/marketing. Two things I REALLY don’t like, but I like his body. And he’s really funny.

Over the weekend, I learned his soon-to-be ex was an intense fucker. Intense like at school. Liked to suck him till he came, then get him hard again and make him work her until she came. Sometimes more than once.

So I did a bit of that. He enjoyed parts of the weekend doing the exact same stuff he did with her, but with the difference being me and my body and my style. Same process, different content he called it. These marketing people, eh! :)

But my highlights were my times to explore what of him i’d always found attractive.

I wore no bra in the car and took off my panties on the highway. Did some rubbing in the car, of me, not him. My breasts and my clit.

And when we checked in i walked into the bathroom, into the shower, turned it on and wet me and my dress all up. And he fucked me all wet on the bed. That started the weekend well.

We got some room service and drank a bit, then he went out to the casino with some clients/marks.

Around 1130pm he phones me and asks if it’s ok to have some boys over to the room. I say sure. Committed to not fucking all 3 of them. And I didn’t, but I know that was a thing in his mind to see if it would end up there. Saucy man.

We all had drinks. They were generally polite, asking what I did, etc., but not so much about how me and “John” met. I guessed he told them, but I don’t think they know much about his marital past. New clients, or newish.

And then they left and I stripped and tied up John and gratified myself beside him on the bed while seeing if he’d cum. Nope. Good boy. Then I ordered pizza.

And while I opened the door only enough to bring in the pizza, John wasn’t so sure I wouldn’t fling the door wide open for delivery boy to see. Cue the porn music. I don’t know why he was worried. Maybe because that’s what I said I’d do with the door.

Bitch?

Bitch.

Whore, too.

Saturday, John’s is in conference/meeting/sales/branding/inspiration mode. I miss him all day. Sniff. I got shopping with his two . There are only 7,000 stores on Harvey. And one thing I love about the OK is that wearing a bikini around town, in the Subway, in the mall, is a uniform for some and not a problem for anyone [outwardly anyways].

And when I was in Sweet Dreams there were 3 girls [and by girls I mean 18-20] trying on things. One ended up quite high maintenance because each of the 3 of them and the staff sweetie all had different opinions about her “real” bra size. Clearly she had never had a proper fitting before. But after 19 million opinions she got some truth. 38C not 36D. That was fun to watch. But in the end she had to come to terms with not self-identifying as a D.

After the fitting and more hijinks and tryings-on, I mentioned to her in the corner how I’m a B. And while it’s not size that matters, it IS what you do with it. And I went into my stall and tightened up my bra one clasp and came back out and said that this difference makes a dull evening at the bar quite unpredictable. Then I went back in and loosened it to one clasp too loose and came back out and said, same for this. in a different way. It’s all about how you introduce your breasts to the world. And then I said I’d still fuck a penis regardless of which way it curves. FTW.

Anyway, I came away from there with this:

It’s a nice piece. Feels smooth. So picture this without the discrete bra and panty underneath it and that’s what i wore the rest of the weekend when we were in the room. Lots of access. And it got good and creamy.

Spent some time in the pool and sauna, got a bit frisky with myself in the sauna. That was nice. Then around 430pm John comes back to the room and I model my outfit for him. I ensure some time demonstrating the sheerness with which to see my nipples. And how I can untie the top to pull out a boob for him and rub a recently released cock head on it. And how I can lie back on the bed and push the skirt down to cover my cunt but not hide its terrain. And how I can sit on the back of the couch with one foot up there too showing how such a little skirt allows his cock to rub along my lips while I rub his balls. And how I can hold his phone and take a short video of his cock rubbing my sticky lips [not inside my cunt, mind you, because that would be fornication] and how for all day he hasn’t been able to fuck me that as i pull off the shoulder of my top and push his fingers onto my nipple, that he can cum on the outside my cunt and cream the skirt.

Then we dress for dinner, coMMANdo! With me in a navy sheer top over a cream cami and yoga skirt.

We came back to the room and slipped into the tub for a http://www.soapymassage.com. Me likey.

For breakfast, I sat on his face and he ate my cunt. Then I wouldn’t fuck him. Just kept saying no until it got so late we wouldn’t have enough time to get down to the restaurant to eat before his session. Cutting it close, I made him fuck me fast so we’d still be able to rush downstairs. But I took the poke up against the window with my yoga skirt up in the back, wondering how many people out there were drifting off to find a good local church. No one looked up and stared, though a few did glance up. They weren’t obvious though if their looks lingered.

After a quick tidy up we breakfasted and I swam and we checked out cruised a few girlclothes shops until I found a great summer dress with which to drive home in, coMMando! Of course.

He dropped me off and I felt nothing like a prostitute. I felt like a girl on more than a one night stand. It lasted 3 days, but it was much like a one night stand, which is usually not prostitution. Sure I got food, clothes, travel, rooms, uninterrupted naps, etc. but when i go out on dates, the fellow [only if he's new] pays for dinner and a movie/play/cover and usually drives. And buys me liquor. And I either fuck him or i don’t.

Prostitutes have sex for money.

What’s the difference?

6 Reasons to Have Casual Sex? Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes

6 Reasons to Have Casual Sex | Sex & Relationships | AlterNet.

ok, so i’m down for all 6.

1. Asserting your desires can create a tremendous sense of power.

Yes.

2. It might help you transcend your inhibitions.

“This is the very target at which critics aim their arrows—how can women enjoy sex without an emotional connection?!—but this lack of investment can be freeing. It’s the same relative anonymity that causes some people to blurt out their deepest secrets to their hairdresser or a taxi driver.”

yes, or the girl in the coffee shop in montreal. then you start dating. then you drag her back to vancouver with you and put her pix at the top of your blog! :)

so true!

3. You’ll learn more about your sexuality

um, fuck yeah.

4. You might learn about yourself emotionally

“The fear and propaganda around one-night stands isn’t just sexist, it’s illogical. Bad long-term relationships involving miscommunication, unmet expectations, and lies are just as likely to damage participants as any sexual disappointment on a short-term scale.”

this is why i gleefully call myself a whore. to defuse the judgement that i get as a loose woman, when men are admired for the same behaviour.

5. You might be a better partner in a committed sexual relationship

“If you’ve experienced sex as a vehicle for relatively emotionally uncomplicated pleasure, you may even be less likely to go along with sex you don’t want, or to seize upon sex as a tool for manipulation.”

life’s short. try it once, if you don’t like it, move on. ok, maybe try it twice with a second partner. :)

“Another recent study, one conducted on 1,311 Minnesotans between the ages of 18 and 24, found that there was no correlation between emotional or mental distress and casual sex.”

liberation!

6. You’ll learn more about sex

liberation, some more.

jury’s in. get on it.

and to celebrate, the next cute chick i see in a coffee shop, sorry not starbucks tho, i’m going to flip my hair, bat my eye lashes and lean in close to see if she’d like to fuck me.

who will join me on this grand quest!?

Sex Tip #18: Respect People’s Celibacy Choices

Like the title says. Respect it.

The lesson I learned over the last few weeks creates that truth for me. Holly has helped me through it enough to write about it, appreciating moments of real contact [not just physically], and where I needed to learn where the line is/was. XOXO Holly sweet.

It is marvelous to have Holly back in Vancouver. Hanging out is good. Wreck Beach is just what I need. And the booze and pot and sex and movies and pot luck dinners and picnics with vodka coolers make me know that Holly is a core part of my life for a long time. Amen amen amen.

And now that Holly is going to my/our church quite regularly now we have become a social item. Not a dating item. We aren’t dating [technically, just the benefits].

But people know us. And they know us as a pair.

And Holly likes some of the boys. Not enough to date, but enough to enjoy the view and flirting.

And then there’s Randy. He is new to town, doing his Masters of Divinity and has spent the last several weeks at our evening service. I think he has a training gig lined up for mornings somewhere. Somewhere where no one puts their arms in the air when they feel moved. :)

Randy is sweet, has awesome wavy flowing hair, is 29, 1/4 Korean, and not too tall. Not that height is a dealbreaker. :)

Holly got to him first one evening after the “show” as she calls it when it’s a bit shlocky. And we went for coffee with him and a few other folks. Coffee meant martinis for a few of us. Slippy in the throat. Yes.

Lotsa talk. Lotsa fun. Phone numbers and last names for Facebook friendship go around.

And the next day I phone him from work and arrange a light dinner for that night.

Open relationships have their benefits. Gordon is a dream, but we both appreciate the fun of variety. I should really go into some of that all in that last several months. But that’s that.

Over the course of 4 times over the next 2 weeks or so before it all crashed to the ground, to put it simply, I tried to get Randy to have sex with me.

I liked him splendidly. He was richly interesting. He had a deep soul.

And he had been, in a previous life, a married furniture assembler with a gambling problem who found a good 12-step program, Jesus and a calling to go into social work and the chaplaincy. Totally respectable. And fascinating.

His marriage ended before his gambling did. Her call. I get that. He had overcome quite a bit, but the broken marriage was the heaviest as it all happened before he knew God and so his frame of dealing with a divorce was after the events. An awkward thing.

And he told me about the times he and his ex met for coffee to work on their shit ["stuff"]. Really endearing.

But he is also a born-again virgin, which i find out on our 3rd date. Which I totally respect. Except I didn’t really. And that’s on me. I’ll accept that.

So when we first went out for dinner, it was casual and fun and we both had a good time. I kissed him goodnight. He was into it. And enjoyed his warmth.

So we plan a post-dinner drink the next night. He had a family thing for dinner.

So I wore a light jumper and cami and no bra. I felt amazing.

Drinks and chatting were nice. I was warm and casual and tipsy and we held hands lots. I knew he was taking in my breasts. BAV, but not dead. I felt good.

We ended the night kissing and hugging. I got in some good glancing nipple rubbing on his chest. Very nice. But the night ended without anything more. I bide time.

Then on the Saturday we walk the seawall a bit. Light, purple skirt past the knee, no panty. Going commando. And the whole braless thing again with a lose scoop T and cami again.

And when we make it around to Lumberman’s Arch we find some nice shady grass aside some bushes and lie down to nibble the baguette and drink some cool beverages.

My goal was to green light him, not for there then, but in general. Such a whore, I know. I’ve come to terms with that.

I arranged myself so that I was lying somewhat under him with his back facing away from the bushes. Under cover of his legs on mine, I slid my skirt up a bit and flowed my hand to my pussy for some comfort. Hoping he’d follow my lead. He did eventually. And he showed slight startle at what he found in there. :) Yay!

He was enjoying the heat and wet and hair and slippy skin. I liked him there greatly!

And after a bit of time there I rolled over onto him. His shorts were not thick. Spreading my skirt up so it was pussy on shorts I/we had a nice time. No bouncing or monster grinding. Just pleasure. Some cleavage leaning. And I spent a good amount of time with my eyes closed, moving my hips oh so gently. Luscious.

And after a time I lied back down to spoon. Felt his cock on my ass. Very nice.

And we walk back and he drives me home and kissing goodbye, I touch his cock and ask him if he’d like me and his friend to get to know each other better. And then he starts telling me about his BAVity. And I feel in part like an ass, but far moreso frustrated. That is me being selfish. I own that too.

And we part well. And I go in and rub off an O.

So the next Friday night we have coffee. And we talk. And do the getting to you know more deeply thing. But the whole time I live a deep sadness that we’re on different pages.

And I know it’s going nowhere because though I like him a lot, I don’t like him enough [or is that even the issue? Holly?] to stay celibate with him.

And towards the end of that night we both start talking about the elephant in the Starbucks. And we just agree that that’s that. Still friends, or is it “friends”.

And as much as I replay it all in my mind, I don’t come up with ways of being different. If he had mentioned BAV before our 3rd date it just would have ended earlier.

Holly says I’m swimming in whore guilt. That he will think I’m the slut I’d be seen as by most in the church. In part true. Mostly something different though.

Mostly sad that his circumstance were/becomes different.

Mourning what would otherwise have been. And it’s sad.

But the lesson is important. To respect people’s choices. Because in the end, you can build nothing casual or serious when one person does not sincerely accept where the other person is.

Dreamily,

Tina

Cumming to Vancouver…Arrival

what is with this fucking rain.

i know i’m the first to say vancouver isn’t rain city for 5 months in the summer, but i’ve been back a few days and now its pouring.

a few things i’ve noticed since i last left 8 months ago.

- there is snow on grouse mountain. all the way to the bottom of the runs. wtf, climate change anyone? someone at the airport said it is el nino. could be, but fuck. cyclone in burma kills 30k and fuckers are skiing in vancouver in may. wtf i say.

- there seems to be a store selling big jugs of bottled water every fucking 6 blocks now. what the hell is wrong with our water? NOTHING. hear me? NOTHING!

- i promised diane to swing by maiwa on granville island to see if my uber-crush is still there. haven’t made it yet. search for maiwa on my blog to read about this goddess!

- diane’s convinced she’ll be in a porn by the end of the month. sure vancouver is no montreal, but a girl’s gotta know that money flows from 43 year old men’s cumming penises on the internet machine!

- haven’t actually hit wreck beach yet. but they say next weekend won’t have rain and it’ll get above 20 degrees. look out wreck. i’m coming!

- in my time back so far i’ve spent some quality time with buddy, his new psuedo-girlfriend, sanna and buddy’s bro [still going], tina and her friend and a host of others that have yet to make it into the blog. maybe this summer is it for some of them?

- my uncle pete is due to hit town when the bard on the beach opens in a few weeks. i will have LOTS to say about him then. hurry unc!

- my joint/orgasm/hour count now that i’ve been in vancouver for 81 hours is about 1:7.5 hours. can i keep that ratio up all summer?

- buddy’s psuedo-girlfriend is not bi. she doesnt want girls involved with her pussy. i respect that. i also like her lots. buddy has good taste. :) and she doesn’t particularly want to watch buddy fuck me. amazing. this will be interesting. :) diane wants to make her cum. i respect her quests!

that’s it for now. when the fucking sun shows up reliably i’ll have more to add.

and sex tips for christian girls? hmmm. tina’s developed a sex only relationship with a 21 year old boy at her church. he’s dating [casually] another girl at the church who’s 18 and a virgin virgin. not even a born again virgin. tina is a church slut.

the sex tip…virgin christian girls: your bf is probly not having sex with other girls. but they might be. the advice? me and tina couldn’t come up with any. maybe we’re not the ones to come up with it tho. :)

in touch,
holly

Girls just wanna have…cum

Ok, so a friend of my new gf’s sister went on a cruise last month with Rosie O’Donnell and Cindy Lauper and a bunch of others. I’ve had that girls just wanna have fun song in my head since i heard the stories.

this posting is an interview with Diane [her real name, for a change]. she’s my new gf. she’s 19. i’m 26 [i may have big/little sister issues]. she’s not like sanna who lied about her age so the number matched her maturity. i love you sanna!

having broken up with my boytoy at school before moving home to vancouver next month, i met diane.

she’s a friend of one of my roomies. no heterosexuals live in my house. 2 bi, 1 les, one gayboy. the other bi girl introduced me to diane. wow. i ower her my firstborn for that.

what follows is an msn exchange when diane was away for a few days. totally unedited. intended as a bio interview for the blog.

me: so yer a fan of the orgasm thing?

diane: oh yes. keep it cumming, love.

me: tell me about cumming.

diane: well i enjoy it alot. i got out of my way to get it. what dyou wan me to say?

me: well, the early days that led up to your bi life and your sexual deviances into hooking and porn. oh, and how your catholicism fits into it all.

diane: oh that. :) well i’ve always thot the virgin mary statues were pretty cute. i’m not the only 1 to feel that. ive talked to boys and girls who agree. it may be sick but its common. nice angelic face. that kinda thing. but i imagine people had lotsa acne back then. hygene couldn’t hvae been all that great. that’s not going where u want eh?

me: no. i forgive u. sexual past. start with that?

diane: ok. well, catholic school was fun. coed. lotsa boys. lotsa girls. lotsa cigarettes, homemade beer, pot. a bit of acid. lotsa parties at various cottages. and lotas sex. experimnting i guess. some times with a girl giving handjobs to two boys. but i guess my first real time of sexuality beyond just touching meself was at school. we had a mini-gym attached to the main gym. it was kinda weights room and it had a big mat down for the wrestlers. after a volleyball game me and some buds were hanging around the school late. we did that lots. there was community classes that came in later for badminton and stuff. but before that we were sitting in the weights room just chatting. me and my cousine and 2 boys. cant even remember there names. anyways we got to rolling around and kissing and stuff and swapping boys and at one point the guy on me gets off and starts rubbing my cousine’s boob. and the guy on her sits up and rubs the other one. and i’m just sitting there. wtf.

me: ya wtf

diane: well she was trying to get them to stop, pushin there arms away and stuff, but laughing. i wanted to help her but i didnt do anything but watch. and i figured she said no but meant yes. so i just watched. and then the one who was on me pulled up her shirt to her shoulders and started touching her breasts, the skin and under her bra. and she stopped fighting it and let it go. and teh other boy did the other breast. it was really hot.

me: and u were how old

diane: grade 9. cousine grade 10

me: did anyone get onto your boobs? or anything else?

diane: no. i was fine just watching. my cousine loves me. she enjoyed being this role model for me. the next summer she showed me her bi side.

me: so she got you into girls

diane: ya. just her really. for a couple years anyways.

me: and the rest of high school?

diane: no more girls. a few boys. lotsa playing at parties and stuff. trying to convince boys that kissing them and rubbing and stuff at parties doesnt mean were engaged. that its just fun. but sex with only a couple boys. then i graduated

me: ok the porns. howd u get to that

diane: my cousine’s dealer’s brother’s friend. simple eh. met him at a party. made out a bit. he tried to get my pants off and i said no. he said ok and told me about some work he did with camera work on porns and said i’d be great at it. like he would know. anyway we started dating and he took me to a shoot at a nice suburban house. said i could watch from teh back. got into a few good conversations with one of the guys and 2 of the girls. their other jobs, lives, gf’s and bf’s, school plans, sex history, details about hte industry and std’s and stuff.

me: so you got an agent?

diane: no. i just talked to marc and said i’d be interested but that i’d need to approve everthing to happen. one of the girls said that sometimes [rarely] things drift beyond the “script” and to insist that it stays to what everyone agrees on.

me: and your first time with it?

diane: it was the scene with carrie and the boy who comes in at the end and fucks her while i’m rubbing her boobs. and i felt good in front of the camera. i could ignore it and the others being there was just kinda a thrill. $450. pretty easy. it was in the same house as i visited that time. the next time was $575. sucked by the redhead, sucked the asian guy.

me: and the big money?

diane: $700. fucked by the asian guy and the guy with the crewcut.

me: and when was that

diane: january.

me: and your future adult film plans?

diane: none right now. but marc’s director gave me the name of a guy in vancouver. so maybe we’ll get into it.

me: ya we’ll see.

diane: cuz your porn-curiousity kills the cat bitch

me: ANYWAYS, lets talk about hte hooking

diane: yes my whoredom. yer a whore too.

me: i know but that comes later

diane: ok. so it started with a call from a guy i knew in high school. dated a bit but weren’t really compatible. he was 2 years ahead. he gets a job outta high school as a drug rep visiting doctors pushing various drugs. and he calls me up last june after we met up again at a party and he says he has a weekend training thing at le president hotel in sherbrooke. and i should come. so i go. i dont wanna date him but i like the vacation idea. i spend most of the weekend in teh pool chatting up some of the staff and a couple from buffalo. and he pays. and we drink and eat and order movies and fuck a few times. and once he wanted me to give him a handjob in the hot tub that looks like hugh hefners grotto, but i had too much respect for, i don’t know, everyone in the world, to do that in there. in teh end it was pretty easy. and an expensive weekend that he didnt really pay for past some of the booze and movies. and i like it. no strings. and that was it.

me: and then what

diane: then he calls me in july and we do it again. this time in toronto. same kinda arrangement. but this time i said i need to buy some nice earrings for our dinners. and we go to the hotel/mall jewelry store and he puts $300 on earrings for me.

me: such a whore

diane: i know. i liked it tho. and when i got home i called up the assistant manager of the cafe i work at who had moved to another outlet and said i would go out with him. he was asking lots. and we went to dinner and a bad movie and i told him we can go out again if he takes me away. this was my trip to buffalo.

me: and your high school boys?

diane: ya. the guys i hung with in high school. mostly there broke or in school (and broke). but a few of them are making some good cash and when i see them at parties and they ask me out, i tell them yes and wehre i’d like to go. and that if i need to shop for a nice clothes or bedroom accessories, they’ll do it for me.

me: and madeline

diane: ya. madeline i met online. she’s a dom and has 4 men in her town or time zone who she knows in person or online. they fund her rent, food and tuition. she’s only occasionally fucked 2 of them. but mostly she controls them and they support her lifestyle. shes my role model. aside form you.

me: xoxo

diane: and then there was last month. dyou want me to tell it

me: yes :)

diane: so my third weekend with this one guy from school. he was in my grade. took me to sherbrooke and montreal. and this time when we do the short drive we get to the hotel and go to the restaurant to eat. and this girl is sitting in the restaurant alone reading a book by jeanette winterson. and she’s cute and i like her smile at parts in the book. and my “bf” for the weekend says ya she’s cute. so i ask him to invite her to join us if she’s alone. and he totally doesn’t have the balls for it. so while he’s weaseling out of it i jsut get up and go over to her and say hey. and she says hey. and i say if yer alone, you’re welcome to join us. my names’ diane. and she says her name’s holy and that woudl be nice. she was meeting her father at the hotel and he left just b4 dinner so she was alone.

me: holly

diane: ya holly. :) holy holly. and we hit it off for dinner and get into the 3rd bottle of $40 wine and i say we should hit the hot tub. holly says she doesn’t have a bathing suit. so i say how about some drinks upstairs and she’s like ya and my friend’s thinking great thoughts.

me: and after a fun night and a boy who doesn’t have much energy after all that booze, we go get me a nice bathing suit the next day. he pays. $125. a bit of a waste cuz i’m usually naked when i’m swimming. :)

diane: and teh rest of the weekend is my little friend’s ultimate thrill of his life having a 3sum outta the blue.

me: and it’s nice cuz he was a nice boy. and sexually gentle and way out of his league when u and i were fucking. which is fine with me anyways.

diane: and you were a great pickup. :)

me: i know. it was fun.

diane: and you have a few marks, er boys in vancouver to keep it up. trips to whistler and stuff eh.

me: i know. it’ll be fun. we’ll make a go of it. it’ll be great summer in deedy!

diane: so is that it?

me: what

diane: the interview?

me: ya i guess. unless theres something u wanna add

diane: yes. its all about the orgasm bitch! :)

me: truth.

diane: xoxo

me: xoxo

Sex Tip #14: Sodomy, Just Do It!

So I’m no longer a bum virgin and i have to say, Tina and all the other gf’s [and many boys] who’ve been advising me to do it were right. I figured they were, now I know.

I knew some day i’d get here. Sodomy is the last of the hyper-conservative Christian hang-ups i’ve been burdened by. But with breaking up with my at-school boytoy and moving through new transitions in my life, it seemed to fit.

And on a more practical level, i knew that actually having intercourse with my gayboy roommate was unlikely [beyond the handjobs and bj's and times in the shower when we so gloriously aroused each other, often by him rubbing his cock on my bum until he came], so while he had always been willing to slide his cock into my bum, i wasn’t.

And so knowing intercourse was out, i walked down the sodomy road with him. And the shower was where it all started. Sliding his cock between my bum cheeks, i asked him to press the head onto my asshole. Being not at all interested in bum play with cocks or fingers or tongues, I have harboured a strong desire to feel something there. And I liked how it felt. He pressed it there and i liked the sensation.

And after the shower we dried off and slid into his bed and after some serious bum massage he started fingering my hole. Then with lube on his fingers. Then with his cock. And in time his head was inside and in time he had some good pumping going.

Lying on my back i could press my clit while he slid in and out of my bum and i came in a real beautiful way rather quicker than i figured it would take. And when he came, i quickly got over his refusal fuck my pussy. :)

I knew it would be a fast conversion out of my anti-sodomy stance.

And I’m glad it was so delightful. So I’ll be going back for more!

Sex Tip #13: Jealousy is a Monster, Put it on the Table

OK in recent weeks, Ash, my boytoy at school has been dating another woman. Which is fine in our open relationship.

And since I’m going back to Vancouver in May after I graduate, I’m ok with him finding a new home for his loving.

“Megan” is not bi. I forgive her. :)

Megan is also 20. And while she’s no child, she is younger than me. I am jealous. I won’t pretend I’m not.

I wish Megan were bi. I’m jealous of her and Ash because they are enjoying each other’s bodies [and everything else]. I think of my Maiwa girl [who I've never spoken to] and she isn’t really mine but i can’t have her. Jealous of those who do get her.

Megan is lots like me, personality wise so we get along when we aren’t jokingly competing for attention. She happens to be quite a bit taller then me, as is Ash. She has strawberry blonde hair, smaller lips [tho cuter than mine i think], smaller hips and larger breasts. It’s all comparison with me.

I envy things about her that are different from me because they are different from me. Not cuz they’re better. Though some days i think they are. But that’s just anxiety.

Not being bi, Megan hasn’t really explored too much. The most wild she’s gotten was in high school dating 3 guys at once over the course of grade 11. She was only sleeping with 2 of them at a time tho as the 3rd took a while to get there and the first became celibate with her after a while. Dating. What a concept. So much monogamy amoung youths today! :)

We rented The Center of the World last night [Friday]. Never seen it but I love Molly Parker. She was on fire erotic in it, along with that other woman Carla something…too tired to imdb her. So me and Ash and Megan are watching it and earlier in the night i was telling them both of how jealous i am of each of them. Gotta put the Jealousy monster on the table or it morphs into cancer.

And as the movie gets hotter and such, our libidos rise. I’m on a chair and Ash and Megan are on the couch snuggling, her sitting between his legs leaning on him and his likely rock hard cock. :)

His arm at one point moved from lying across her chest to feeling her boob. She smiled then moved it away. After weeks of hanging out together and with all our buds and her getting to know me and Ash’s relationship [which saw sex decline steadily, but not end totally], I figured she still wasn’t into being fondled in front of me.

And while Ash was clearly massaging her back with his cock, she wasn’t much into it. Until the end of the movie when we watch Molly masterbate. And we all get hot. Clearly!

During it, Ash’s hand finds Megan’s boob again and she’s not pushing it away. And his other hand is just sitting bewteen her thighs. And he says to me “Holly, can you open your top?”

Never one to pass up on that, I unbutton my flannel pj top and re-orient my body so i’m facing them, and i start my own rubbing. Mostly inside my jam bottoms, opened up a bit, with occasional breast work. And with this, Ash gets to work on Megan. Opening a button in her top, under her bra, and other hand onto her pussy. She opens her left leg up over his and leaves him room to rub her harder.

While it was Megan’s first time being sexually involved with more than her partner in the room, she was able to get into it ok. And then she came.

And i was on a high watching him get her off. It was beautiful. Made me really jealous of him.

And as she came back down, Ash slid out and came over to me and pulled out his cock to rub on my chest and then for me to suck.

I’m getting to a point of closure with Ash. And his cock. I’m half a semester away from leaving and it’s healthy to be disengaging like this.

After some sucking, Ash asked Megan to take off her pants and he left me and slid her thong aside and began sucking her. Then he said “do you want me in you?” and duh, she says yes. So he fucks her. Not particularly to drive me crazy, but in part to drive me crazy. :)

And I like them alot. And I’m happy they are bonded with each other. And I’m not angry along with my jealousy but I’m mostly sad at a phase of my life ending. And not that I want to keep everything as it is [tho i do a bit], i need to move on in my life. And working through my jealousy is a part of moving to the next chapter.

And Megan’s so sweet. Grrrr. :) But I’m happy for them both.

And the moral of the story is that admitting jealousy clears the air of toxicity. It doesn’t always lead to partying, but it leads to healthier relationships.

And not that i’ve been free of tears, but they’ve been healthy tears, moving on.

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