Sex Tip #24: When He Doesn’t Fuck You

Don’t ask. Tell a man that he can’t fuck you.

And it’s nice that he obeys you. Shouldn’t be that hard but it is. But not always.

Meet Carmella, 18–January birthday, Catholic, volunteering at my school before doing her teaching degree. She’s into SCIENCE so she’s a treat. Volunteering in Chem and Physics classes keeps her away from my end of the building, but we hit it off anyway. Not the least of which was that she graduated from high school at 16 and thinks the place is in need of some serious juice.

As a good girl at a Catholic school she was an obedient servant of Jesus, except when she indulged in the sinful lust of envy of her best friend, Dierdre, who was fucking any of 3 boys who she also really liked. Mental lust is as sinful as fucking. I know, I know.

Then in grade 11, she found out that they were comparing notes on fucking her friend. Of course she told her. Dude with the longest cock talked about what she did when he really rammed her. The other dingbats were on about squeezing her boobs until she almost cried. Basically she was their meat. They didn’t suck her clit, make her cum or make her body an orgasmic temple of fuck. They just used her. And she learned nothing about how to rock her cum.

And how did Carmella find out? One of them [drunk] simply told her what they said about her friend. That was the last time she even pondered pre-marital sex. I get that. I so do. She kept her rosary in her purse and embraced her virginity. High 5!

Fast forward to last Christmas. Her 16 year old brother, her mom and her go to Cabo for Christmas. The Mexicans really get into the Jesus of it all, so that was a bonus for her little sociology observations about Christmas on the Baja.

But the highlight of her trip was fucking around with this guy, but not fucking him. And without going into the #notallmen thing, let’s just say many men are assholes, sexually. But many aren’t. And after months of talking about all this, Carmella finally shared with me her journal, which she shares with her slutty best friend and slutty cousin in Kamloops, and without permission to type it into here verbatim so you can see what she pulled off in Cabo, I was allowed to paraphrase. Winner! But it wasn’t her regular journal, it was her IntimateSexLustSin companion journal, which she’s sure her mom doesn’t know to snoop in.

dec. 23

  1. they all took the minibus to todos santos. met dene, pronounced denny. short for branden. 24. lean and strong. seriously into yoga. they chatted a bit in the van and  ended up inviting him to join them for lunch at their table in todos santos. he was in cabo alone. likes his quiet times. they saw the fruit. saw the church. saw the surf. saw colours they’ve never seen before decorating the church. dene was interested in the church but not in a catholic kind of way, but in a humans-are-cool kind of way.
  2. on the way back to cabo they stopped at this random beach for the swimming part. the waves were bigger than in cabo, and less “i’ll killlllll you all!” but not quite as warm. dene was funny, full of smirks when dean [her brother] poked fun at her ass. her new one piece has ties at the sides to raise or lower the amount of butt coverage. while she kept having to lower them to cover herself, the pacific ocean wanted the bottom half of herbum exposed and kept loosening the ties back up. which is why the sheer black swimming skirt was useful. dean kept on about her huge butt and trying to slap herexposed ass. and dene laughed him off, but in a slightly dismissive way. which was nice and made dean mostly go away. and dene said that her butt is curvy and luscious. as an extension of her wide welcoming hips. huh? [i was convinced it was a compliment because some guys like round, juicy asses.]
  3. so he paused as says “wide welcoming hips are good for a solid base for a man to manoevre on top of.” and in Camella’s head, she’s immediately like, no, you don’t get to fuck me. but she calmed down a bit and stopped being paranoid and smirked. she’s a big girl and can take that. even though last december she was just 17.
  4. and then dene said ass slapping doesn’t have to be taunting. a solid high velocity yet slow motion touch can be a good thing. and as at that moment the pacific yet again pushed the swimming skirt up over her back, her white butt was there, facing him. and he was looking, so she’s like, “show me. i didn’t get that slow motion part.”
  5. so he swings his hand down onto her butt, but instead of removing it, he keeps it there, with his fingers pointing down, cupping the bottom of her cheek. then he slides his fingertips down the top of her thigh for a cm or so and lifts it away, with a “voila!”
  6. and she’s happy with that. that works. she did NOT dislike him touching her. but once again she’s like, “no, you don’t get to fuck me. but i was thinking of fucking him. which is fine.” [no, it’s sinful, but i don’t judge!]

dec. 26, practically midnight

  1. she ran into dene a couple times over the holiday. and he had the early dinner with her crew yesterday, christmas, and he crashed early.
  2. she saw him tonight after dinner at the pool. enjoyed the margaritas in the pool bar and saw karin. karin with an i. she was on the van to todos santos and the object of dean’s badly hidden glances. karin and her friend are about 35 and she has the very large boobs. but not so large that she couldn’t carry her plastic margarita cup inside the strap of her bikini between her boobs. 2 straws stuck together allow the sipping. Carmella thought she’s a fancy piece. she still liked her by the time boxing day rolled around. and here dean was probably masturbating in the shower thinking about all her side boobs he saw at the beach up the coast.
  3. around 9 they went into the beach jacuzzi with the last margs for the night. not a huge jacuzzi, but it wasn’t crowded. eventually karin, her bud and 3 other people came in. getting a bit crowded. and dene moves beside her. legs touching. fine. then the games.
  4. he puts her hand on his knee and then puts his hand on hers. “do you want to lead or follow?” oy. she says “follow.” and he slides his fingers around her knee and she does the same. the up along the top of her thigh to the top of the skirt at the bathing suit ties, then over to her belly. and of course he has an erection, she notices as she slides her hand onto his yoga belly and brushed his pokey shorts. margarita, plus not touching a penis in 80 years made her happy. “but no, that doesn’t mean he can fuck me.” [Carmella said she had touched and rubbed a handful of penises in her life. rarely sucked, never manifested an dude’s orgasm except was “gifted” with a few, but she sure liked the feel of a hard cock rubbing up against her.]
  5. then his hand goes up, but not to her boobs because he’d end up elbowing her in the head to get his arm that high. so her hand goes up. then he’s back down to her belly and she’s like “PLEASE don’t go down,” not totally screaming it in her head but willing his hand to stay up, but at the same time wanting him rubbing her. so while his hand is doing NOTHING on her belly, she slides her knees apart. honestly yeah, hoping and waiting. and he goes down. and it FELT SO NICE! and she turn her head and kissed him as he slowly rubs her.
  6. this goes on for weeks and he stops kissing and moves his hand off. and at that point she realizes she stopped playing the game. she hadn’t grab his penis like she should have. yikes! and he stands up and turns around so that he’s facing the ocean and kneels on the seat part. and he grabs her hand to pull her around beside him. and they lean on the edge of the jacuzzi looking at the ocean down the way. and under the jacuzzi water he slides his hand up under my skirt and rubs all that expose butt of hers. loving it. and more than a few times he slides his fingers up under the bathing suit and pulls it up some more and he gets his hand all over all her butt. she loosens what’s left of the ties below her hips so the bottom of her suit is maximally loose.
  7. and after a few months of this, jose security guard walks by and says it’s 10 o’clock so the pool and hot tub are closed. and a few minutes later all the coloured lights in the pool area go out, leaving just the white ones that keep everyone from bonking their heads on everything. and she hadn’t been in the jacuzzi at 10pm before because it turns out that 10pm doesn’t mean anyone leaves, but that it becomes a naked hot tub. and karin with an i stands up, and takes off her bottoms, then her top, letting the serious boobs free. and everyone else gets naked, so Carmella sits down. “not for me” she’s thinking. and dene sits down. and it’s clear that karin’s buddy is rubbing her boobs under the water. and dene says she may want to just slide the straps off her shoulders. ok fine. and her boobs are freeing up a bit. and karin with an i is smiling and this other couple gets out of the jacuzzi. nice penis. nice small boobs. and they walk down to the ocean. Carmella is certain karin is getting her pussy rubbed too. she kept staring at her looking for some kind of sign. nope. all in her head. or not.
  8. and dene says let’s get out of here. and she says ok. get up and feel her boobs half way spilling out, watching dene look at them. and he didn’t lick his lips but she could see his face was all about sucking her now. grabbed her bag, feeling for the key in there, yes. and sandals and like a champ, she keep my straps down. feeling the air on more of her boobs than normal. dene still has the erection and he is completely casual. which was deeply attractive. want to come up to my room he says. and she says sure. he has all the bottled water he says. walking for a bit and she just blurts out, “this doesn’t mean you can fuck me.” and he smiles and laughs abit and says no worries. and she says “sorry, i just meant, i’d like to not have sex.” and he’s like, no worries. and now she wants to fuck him. crap!

and a number of things happen over the next couple hours.

  1. she didn’t fuck him.
  2. got into his room and he walked me over in front of the tall mirror. and stood behind her and pressed his penis onto her ass. thank you very much for that.
  3. he put his hands on hers, then all 4 on her belly. he pushed one hand down and one up. legs go apart a bit for more warm Carmella rubbing. and the other hand is up and holding her breast.
  4. tell him it’s been a while. like a couple years since she did any of this. and when she did any of this before it was not hugely fun for her. and he’s like, no worries.
  5. and kissing.
  6. and he pulls her hands behind her and they rub her ass. love it.
  7. then he’s holding her breasts, rubbing nipples. and he says that she drive now. she can do whatever she wants. and her heart has won this lottery feeling.
  8. she steps behind him and looks at his body in the mirror. grabbed his penis and squeeze and rub it. then open his shorts and drop them. such a beautiful penis, my god. so nice to rub. so nice.
  9. and she get down. lick it and suck it. so nice. so much warmth and she just knows he’s not going to push it in her mouth so he can cum. and he doesn’t. so nice.
  10. so she lies face down on the bed and says to make her feel amazing.
  11. he climbs on top and rubs his penis on her ass and starts telling her things. this is what he’s wanted to do for days. since the beach. since he touched her butt. and he pulls her legs apart and slides his hand under to rub her pussy more. yes. and he thumbs her butt. then he pushes up my bathing suit as high as it goes so most of her butt is out. he rubs his penis all over it, then slides it under and between her legs and rubs it on her pussy. and she tells that part in her head that wants to fuck him, to shut up.
  12. then he rolls her over and lies on top of her and kisses her and begins grinding his penis on her pussy. so wet. 8 years later he pulls the top of her suit down and sucks her boobs so softhardsofthard. then he slides up and titfucks her. but not with intent to injure. not with the idea of pressing his penis into her nipple so hard that she whimpers, cuz that’s not fun, she knows from experience. because why would anyone. then she licks his penis some more. so nice.
  13. then they drink the water more. and they say words. and some of them are that she doesn’t masturbate. that she’s only had a couple probably orgasms. that she’s never had sex and she’s ok with wanting to but knowing she’s not ready yet. and some of the words are dene asking if she’s 18 and her saying yes, because it was days away from being true anyway, so there. and more talking. and then he just begins narrating.
  14. he pulls the suit off the rest of the way
  15. rubs his penis on her pussy, the grinding is hot. and sliding her legs apart lets him rub his penis on her lips. so slippery. here, her hips being welcoming enough for his hips to work around in here.
  16. and straddling her lets them both rub his cock, and he can reach back to finger her clit, but he won’t push inside her vagina.
  17. and sliding down on her lets him lick her pussy and finger her clit, and here he’d usually have a couple fingers inside her, feeling the warm and wet of her vagina. and he squeezes her bum while making her clit swell.
  18. and she moans and rubs her nipple and squeezes her bum too as she has her first doubtless orgasm. that moment knowing she’s merely had little thrill things before…not like this.
  19. and when it ends she pushes him back because she needs water and he can’t touch her now because she’ll explode.
  20. and she drinks and drinks. and she lies down and curls and holds herself and says she wants to see him cum. and she sucks him and rubs his balls and tells him to show her how he cums.
  21. so he pulls her up along side him at the top of the bed so he can kiss her and lick her boobs. and he begins a hard pounding rubbing and closes his eyes and moans and rubs so hard.
  22. then he gets on top of her and starts grinding again, but says that this is a good way for her to cum, to press his penis on her clit and grind it around. and she can hold it and move it all over her clit as she needs. but now he’s going to talk about just the tip.
  23. and he presses the head of his cock down from her clit onto her vagina. and he says that assholes often lie when girls say they don’t want to fuck. and they say they just want to put the tip into her vagina. just the tip. and press a bit. and pull out. then in goes the tip again. and it gets covered in her cream and he slides it around a bit. then he’ll push a bit more. but just the “rest” of the tip. and by tip he really meant the whole head. but that’s all. meanwhile all he’s doing is nestling the tip between her lips. at her vagina. not in. and he says this is where they rape you, because the tip becomes the head and then he says it feels so good and asks you if it feels good too. and you say yes cuz duh. and you want him in you even though you don’t. and you can’t stop anything now because he CAN’T keep putting just the head in, he needs to feel his penis all the way inside your vagina. all the way as far as he can get it.
  24. then meanwhile, he slides his tip back up to her clit and grinds some more and says she has to beware this “just the tip” bullshit. and he slides up and slides his cock into her mouth and she sucks and he presses a bit hard and she gags and chokes a bit and he pulls out and lies beside her again and starts rubbing his now much wetter penis again. and he speeds up then slows…right…down…and holds it tight…then it blows cum up his chest and onto her belly and breasts and onto the pillow and sheets.
  25. and he sighs and thumbs his penis head as the rest of his cum comes out. and she rubs it gently and feels the warm cum cool on his penis and belly and on her breasts.
  26. and she tastes it and it’s yes. and she sucks him gently and he smiles and laughs and has the big happy eyes.
  27. and he gets a couple warm washcloths and washes them and they drink.
  28. and other things happen.
  29. she stands, wide-legged, facing out of the sliding door, looking at the ocean. he turns out the lights and watches her rub her bum. and bend over a bit and rub her clit. and turn around and rub her boobs.
  30. and he stands behind her looking into the mirror, poking his penis between her legs for her to finger.
  31. and he kneels and goes down on her as she stands in front of that mirror, leaning back against a chair.
  32. and he lies on her, grinding some more. and he says how much of him could fit inside her. and she dreams and dreams of it. and he says how amazing it feels to cum inside a woman. and that guys will do almost anything to do it. but that he’s not an asshole. he smiles.
  33. and it’s after midnight and she’s getting tired but she needs to shower. so they shower and kiss and rub and suck some more. and she is so happy.
  34. and they get their suits on again and go out for a dip in the pool. the hot tub is still full of a few naked people but they want to be alone. they drift quietly together and in her mind she’s thinking that she has enough chlorine smell on her to go back to her room. and she thinks she’s paranoid too. but all that’s ok.

And in the end, she’s not sure his name was Braeden or Branden and if he lived in Boise or Boulder. But we all know she’ll never see him again. They flew home a day later and she only glanced at him across the pool yard a couple times but couldn’t grab a minute to see him. But that felt all ok.

SHE felt all ok. And she ended up with a high bar to use for the next guy. And the next guy.

And then, days into January, she turned 18. Whatever that meant in Mexico, Canada or the USA. And she knew that something was slightly risky with all that. But that she invested in trust and she knew her soul and it was sublime.

And she stopped counting her orgasms months ago. Too many to count. And she’s still single and has not been allowed to attend my bra-less parties until she’s 19, so soon.

But she comes to regular parties and holds her own. High-5.

And in the end, she now knows that some guys actually won’t fuck you if you ask them to.

Going Braless, Yes!

As long as I’m meat, men will define the boundaries of my identity and sexuality. I choose bralessness in a variety of circumstances.

As a teacher, my job is to empower people. I choose to wear a bra at work because the stress of not doing so is not worth the hassle.

But it turns out, Kaitlyn is braver than me!

Burn your bras, sistas!

And frankly, I’d like to punch in the throat any male colleague who cannot contend with a braless student in class. Complete and utter bullshit!

This is the shirt Kaitlyn was wearing when she was sent to the office.

When I left the office, I was so upset that I posted a picture of what I was wearing on Facebook, telling everyone, ‘If any of you are curious, this is the shirt I was wearing when I was called out.’ I most definitely wasn’t wearing anything against the dress code.” 


via Facebook / Kaitlyn Juvik

Principal Steve Thennis said he won’t check someone’s undergarments but does ask they dress appropriately…

…“and if we feel it is inappropriate, male or female, we are going to ask them to cover up.” 

Need Advice for My Sweet Friend

so yeah, i’m not much for asking for advice.

not because i’m perfect or genius but because i usually only write about things where i’m the expert. and that’s ok.

it’s also ok to say hey. what do you say to this dude. i’m at a bit of a loss for words.

there are 2 issues going on. they may be related, but only distantly. either way, they came up around the same time the other night.

we had another bra-less party that turned into a bit of a sex party on saturday. it was full of weird shit. booze, pot, chicks with assertive nipples and the men who love them.

i fucked no one, but i watched 3 orgasms, including one penetration event that made me want to cum right there. but i didn’t. i was the host.

but there was an afterparty. as there always is.

and a sweet dude friend of mine was the last one to be awake with me. on my bed. just talking. he lacks confidence. not that there was going to be the sex with me, but still. confidence thing.

within a few minutes of each other, these 2 things came out.

  1. in grade 5, he did something bad in school. no memory of what it was. he was generally a good kid. still is! but he got yanked out of the classroom where his nazi teacher started tearing into him…for whatever the thing was. she was tall and imposing and generally mean anyway. once she got a few sentences in, he peed his pants. right there in the corner of the hallway outside the classroom. i asked what he did after that. he guesses that he went back into class. he must have smelled like pee. everyone must have known, but he has no memory of that. but i don’t see how they couldn’t. no other memories of that day. no surprise there. amazing that he didn’t block that out. in fact, blocking that out would have been awesome. but it’s tormented him for almost 2 decades. so my question for advice is below. now read the next thing.
  2. we were also talking about things that were demeaning to us. sexually. i have a bunch of stories from university. i had low sexual self-esteem. boys did degrading things to me. not on my terms, unlike now. 🙂 but i have recovered my sense of dignity from those events. my sweet dude friend, though, is similarly tormented by this sexual encounter. despite it being different from the pants peeing, it has the same effect on him. he was dating a girl in university. she worked in the library [not a student] and he was. they would watch movies at her place. sitting on her bed [studio suite]. he liked her. she was sexually self-determining. he was happy to get any kind of making out. but he was lacking confidence to “make a move” on her. so sweet! at any rate, they had a respectful friendship, with attraction. one night she “made a move” on him. she reached over and held his hand and said she wants to have a good time now. he blushed and kept telling the story. she started kissing him and rolled on top of him. grinding and going mmmm when he rubbed her ass. she talked dirty to him, “squeeze me, bitch” and “what are you going to do with that cock, you girlyblouse”. she took off her top and pants and helped him take off his clothes. but then she wouldn’t touch him. she lied there and when he touched her belly she grabbed his hard cock and squeezed. he winced and she said, there’s a price for touching her. so he had to think about that. hard, because all his brain blood was in his penis. so he rubbed her belly again and she squeezed him again. huge price for any contact. he thinks, how will he ever get to make the sex with her if she keeps squeezing his penis. good point. next move: he rubs a breast, over her bra. kind of hard. and yes she squeezes again. all this is new for him and he’s wondering how much touching her he can do before she squeezes off his penis. next: breast under the bra and pressing her nipple. squeeze, still the same amount of pressure. thank god, i guess. next: he pulls down the top of her panties, fast, to reveal her bush. squeeze. he lets go. then he moves around in position to pull her panties right off. i remark that that sounds really bold. and he’s like, yeah. if he’s going to be hurt he wants as much as he can get for it. i say that sounds very transactional. so yeah, he pulls her panties off next. she sits up reach for his penis for the squeeze. he gets them off eventually and when he stops touching her she lets go. she lies back. he pushes her legs apart, far. squeeze. then he lies down between her legs with his face close to her cunt. and he watches her box. she seems to be pretty solidly not moving, just letting him watch her cunt as her body breathes and her lips get more flushed. and he knows she can’t reach his penis in this orientation. so he puts his finger about a centimeter in front of her labia. he moves it up and down without touching her. this is fun for him. and her. he brings his finger back and kisses her cunt. he gets about 2 seconds there, feeling the warmth of her cunt and she leaps up and jumps at his cock. squeeze. 2 seconds, harder now. she ends up lying on the bed in a loose 69 orientation, with his penis within her easy reach. and her cunt is close to his face and hands. he pushes her legs apart again. squeeze. he spends a bit more time looking at her close up labia and bush. breathing her in. then he dives in. fingers rubbing and pulling her labia [squeeze], finger into her vagina, in and out getting creamy [still squeezing his penis], then his tongue on her clit just pressing but no flicking [constant squeeze now] and he just wants to stay in this position until…..he dies of pain or something else. after a few seconds [or hours in non-linear sex time] her hips pull back, he pushes his finger further up her vagina, and she moans a bit [all while squeezing]. at the moan, he cums. despite her squeezing. and he describes this cum as “trying to get your whole body through a basketball hoop.” ok, right. not the clearest analogy, but i get the point. hard to push the cum out of a squeezed penis. “but once it got out it was magic.” and his penis softened a bit and was less pained by her grip. did she cum, i ask. “yes?” he suggests. typical. 🙂 juuuuust kidding. he’s a sensitive, giving man. and i ask what happened next. he said he was stunned because she didn’t wipe up his cum or dry up her creamy cunt. [not everyone worships kleenex] she just hopped up to the top of the bed, slid under the covers and called him up to get in there with her. and they watched tv. touching, hugging but no sex or other sexy acts. while he wonders if he should have tried to fuck with her, he is most “disturbed” by all that squeezing. that she wouldn’t “let” him have contact with her without there being a price. i said that it was a game. he wonders if i might be wrong and he’s right in presuming she wanted to hurt/oppress him and dangle her sex in front of him to be able to control him. i said the snuggly behaviour after he came shows she was in it for play. he mostly believes me. but i’m not going to try to fight to convince him that i’m right. so i’m crowd sourcing your wisdom.

so. my questions.

  1. what would you say to him about holding onto this self-torturing memory of peeing his pants in elementary school?
  2. and, vote on library girl: just playing or trying to degrade him?

i encourage/welcome your responses in the comments!

make my/his day! 🙂

i love you all!

in touch,


Sex Tips for Christian Girls #23: You Can’t Trade Sex for Counselling. Duh.

Greetings my bitches and sperm spewers!the_fall_of_sin___extended_by_anton101

i hereby resolve to do more than one post in 2016. see…i’m already halfway there!

i have many updates. of friends and new friends. and semen and cunts. and visions of 2016.

but the first comes as the last key killer discussion of 2015. with one of the counsellors at my school.

she’s someone we go out drinking with on fridays and other times. she’s someone who deals in honesty and has no time for bullshit. but she is always there for people to work through their process. even if bullshit is part of that process.

this discussion is a no brainer. but there were surprising twists.

issue we hypothetically construct:

  1. woman is going through an emotional or life crisis.
  2. she seeks a counsellor for help.
  3. she sets up biweekly appointments at over $100/hour.
  4. things are going well. she’s getting into some shit. but it’s going to take some time.
  5. 2 months in, she loses her job and ends up losing her west side [too expensive anyway] apartment, putting fondest memories into storage and rents a room in a shared house with a friend and some acquaintances.
  6. at any rate, she can’t afford these sessions anymore as she’s on EI and is embracing the raw food lifestyle out of necessity.
  7. so she phones him up to cancel her upcoming appointments.
  8. he lets her come in for the next one for free.

and the issue is…and this is where my lovely zany question comes in…is it unethical for him to offer to continue treating her in exchange for no money. but just sex.

and obviously the answer is yes. deeply unethical. duh. and there’s no point even going into the reasons why. duh.

but my counsellor friend of mine and i, over far too much sangria began discussing the logistics of this anyway. and while we came up with what i recall to be over half a dozen good reasons why it’s not only unethical, but also bad therapeutic practice, we worked up the scenario anyway.

  1. biweekly appointments would mean biweekly sex?
  2. at, say, $135/session, that’s $270/month. so is it like she’s let him fuck her for $135 every time?
  3. what if he wanted weekly sex from her? would she feel cheaper if she’s then only “getting paid” $62.50 to fuck him each time?
  4. would the sex be before or after each appointment or at a completely different time?
  5. her place [awkward] or his? or some neutral place? his office?
  6. is there a way for her to imagine in her mind that she could get good treatment while being sexually compromised?
  7. what about pro bono therapists? who wouldn’t demand sex.
  8. what happens if she stops enjoying sex with him? if she never does enjoy it? what happens if she feels trapped, and not immediately, i should add?
  9. and power. it’s always about power. never about the sex. so no need to delve into all that.

and while the whole conversation was about an undeniably immoral and unethical situation, we couldn’t help but keep going with the mental puzzle of how it could possibly work.

my counsellor friend, like many therapists, has had her buttons pushed during sessions sometimes and she has her own counsellor to deal with her own processes as well as triggery things that come up.

this friend has admitted to being attracted to at least one of her counsellors in her life. we’re only human. so have i. probably everyone has.

but there seems to be a logistically sensible situation in which it’s conceivable to trade sex for therapy, but beyond the hypotheticalness of it, it’s just mad.

so. by the end of it, we asked ourselves if we somehow now just love wasting our time with stupid conversations.

one one hand, yes.

on another hand, why was it such a big deal to drive through all the logistics just to see if it could hypothetically work?

no easy answer there.

all i know, is that it was compelling enough to keep our attention for enough time.

and sometimes, the only way to actually have “cards against humanity” type conversations, is to get some drunk on, get with a safe friend and actually dig in. even if you know it’s wrong. not the actual conversation, but the thing you’re talking about. cuz it doesn’t even matter.

in the end, that’s one way to know you’ve got a goooood friend! 🙂

in touch,


Making your heart sing!

i’m getting more into tantric sex.

i’m getting more into keeping my dear dear lover hard until i can make him cum at whim. like hours, but really 30-45 minutes is goo.

i’ve fallen in love. like, in the cliche way. i still love buddy and my girlfriend, but i’ve moved out of that household and in with my llllllllover!

i think we’re going to get married some day. i just loooove him.

and he likes his sex and his cum and my cunt and all the sweaty bits, but my heart sings when he unloads in me.

he is brilliant and flaky and a risque divorcee. and his ex left him for manhattan. and he is ok talking to me about her juicy cunt and what he used to do to it and watch other fellows do to it. and i love listening to him talk about it/her. he keeps having to lick his lips. then he sucks me until i whimper.

i want to get pregnant and know that his cum can mix with me and make a new thing. from pretty much scratch.

i want to lie in bed with him reading or watching movies or porn and just exist with his cock in my cunt. not softening, not leaving, just staying there. like it’s how i breathe.

and on the bus, when i had my marking bag on my lap and my hand underneath, i daydreamed about the last time i had his cock in me for soooo many minutes. i juiced up and simply pressed my finger on my clit and did the no-hip-moving dance of secret orgasms.

and when he came home, he walked in the door and i was there for him to rub my still wet panties. so i confessed my bus sin and helped him back into my cunt.

there are times i only want his cum in my for the rest of my life. but that passes. but i am beside myself thinking that i can ever think that. i am charmed indeed!

in touch,


It’s Easy Being Green, and Slutty, In Vancouver

greeeeeeeen!I was a hipster the other night, wandering Main Street with friends, when we get distracted by this “fuck me hard while I wear this revealing corset” shop on 16th.

I enjoy being slutty while trying to reclaim the word slut from those who want to shame me and my sisters and slutty brothers from enjoying doses of wild and usually inappropriate sex.

I want to head back to this shop and buy this dress and cram my ass into it and wear it with the straps constantly falling.

I want to wear it, commando, to dance at a club while loaded on fruity rum drinks. And I want my people to fondle my dress while I’m dancing. I want them to rub my ass and tits and cunt through it. I want them to reach down the top to go after a nipple periodically.

I want to go into the bathroom so one of my girls can feel me up in it while others watch how creamy I get, in part just cuz I’m in the dress. My new orgasm dress.

Then I want to go home with my friends, after meeting at least one new person [usually it’s a girl] to add to our group. At least for just the night.

And I want at least 3 people to fondle me in it.

And I want one person to suck my clit while someone else’s fingers are creaming me up.

And I want those at least 3 people to peel this dress off me and each of them, fuck me. However they wish.

And I want to sleep beside this dress. And put it on the next morning and walk around the house in it, eating breakfast and berries. And then I want a boy to lie me down on the bed, push the dress up and fuck me while I daydream of lying on a beach in south Asia looking out into the ocean at all those tall rock islands with tropical vegetation all over the top.

I want this dress to smell like my cream, other people’s cum and all my sweat and other people’s lipstick.

Then if it’s a drizzly day, I’m going to drape it over the rose bush on the balcony to freshen it up.

Then that night I will wear it to Sandbar just before the dinner rush and sit at the bar drinking rum and root beer, with my Kindle, reading and enjoying people looking at me and wanting to fuck me. I will not let any boys take me home to fuck me, but any girl who wants to try on my dress is welcome!

Then, as they say, later rinse repeat.

I fucking LOVE this dress!

Sex Tip #22: We Should All Charge for Sex

i was talking to a christian virgin in her 20s last week, the sister of a girl i teach with. she is good without intercourse. she has a firm line. she considers it an issue of personal integrity and morality. all fine.

but she loves being sucked and sucking so her morality doesn’t stop her from getting to third base. good girl. and she has the classic girl lament that once her boy cums, he has a hard time focus on her mere existence! 🙂

ladies first. has to be said. but, continuing on…

but she had something really interesting to say.

she thinks of sex as a massively powerful thing. and she figures that if girls choose to cease to be virgins before marriage [which she understands but doesn’t embrace herself obviously], she wonders why all girls don’t charge for it.

so she clearly doesn’t judge sex trade workers, but she also sees it like compromising a virtue being a very black and white thing. once you have sex you’ve crossed a line. you’re in another realm of virtue. different. and in her case, for herself: lesser.

but she figures that if she were to cross that line and have sex, she should charge for it. it is possibly the greatest currency of power in the human history. there should be no reason why she shouldn’t charge $500 for the honour of fucking her. note she didn’t say $50. she knows how to price commodities.

and then she went on to talk about things i agree with, like how marriage is in some ways “just” an economic arrangement where in the past, women became housewives and kept the home for the man and didn’t have to work but in exchange for all that economic value, she fucked her husband. and in that view, women weren’t sexual creatures, but cunts for receiving cum. turns out women actually like to fuck, but whatever. 🙂 only they didn’t have to swallow or even suck his dick after she had a ring on.

and i like this chick. she’s got it figured out. and she has a killer petite body. dragon boats, cross country skiing, part time vegan diet. i’d fuck her if i were a guy. and i may just pay $500.

last summer i saw her in her bathing suit, drunk, at dusk, at a campsite at a lake near whistler. i saw how poorly her bathing suit fit after several hours in it and after losing her ability to stand up straight 100% of the time. and i wasn’t the only one who noticed her awesomeness. and i know that she sucked at least one of the boys on our trip. deeply. so she’s got the game, as they say.

but to know, not just think but know, that there’s been NOTHING in her cunt, that’s just stunning. and if she were to let a boy inside her [well, that part of her], i could see that she’d want to be properly compensated for it. i know this because i’ve taken money, restaurants, clothes, hotel stays and wild rides in convertibles in exchange for fucking a guy.

so i told her about my various times being more or less a prostitute and she could totally relate. i didn’t tell her EVERYthing i’ve done sexually that had a payout [beyond the scope of our conversation], but i concluded with this idea: if a girl like this agrees with me on the economic and power nature of sex, i think i’m on solid ground.

in touch,



hello again my dearies!

it’s been a great year. lotsa fun irl. lotsa busy times at work. lots of stress but nothing inducing dull stares and stress leaves.

but i’ve neglected all of you, for which i sincerely apologize.

but something i’ve noticed in my writing time away is that my blog’s become quite popular. and in england. i don’t know why. you tell me, uk dudes.

so here’s a new sex tip for yall. simple. call dibs. if you don’t you’re stupid. if you think you’re being noble, all’s fair in love and war. call dibs.

that’s for the boys mainly, but girls, you need to know that dibs are or aren’t being called on you. and you either need to manipulate the situation or play a card if you don’t want to be dibbed. and if you are in a position where no one is calling dibs, it’s all for you.

what do i mean?

meet bill. bill is a nice christian boy. man. he’s 33. he broke up with his gf of 4 years last summer. he actually went to a counsellor to figure out why he wanted out. brought up a lot of family of origin stuff. he’s a stellar guy.

i met bill late last year. we actively didn’t date, tho we hung out a lot. i wouldn’t date him because of my bf and gf. i’m taken. but i like bill a lot. and we kept going out. and he was pretty open about how he wanted to date me. we worked that out pretty cool. it was just a no. and he was good with that because he was exercising that assertive muscle that so many nice boys refuse to work out.

so, back to dibs.

he met a girl in university about 10 years ago. they were in a class together one semester. then again the next semester. he got to know her as a random classmate the first time. liked her. thought she was hot, but he was shy. she was too, not a player, so bill didn’t push anything because he thought he had time.

in that next semester, he saw her for a few weeks in class. didn’t push anything. wouldn’t get assertive. then all of a sudden his roommate starts dating a girl he met at a friend’s church. shy, cute, long brown hair, nice curvy body. he’s jealous. why not. turns out after a few dates, roommate comes home and says that his gf is in one of bill’s classes. that girl.

now, honestly he couldn’t call dibs. it wasn’t like that. it wasn’t like they both saw her at a bar and did rock paper scissors. he’s lost the opportunity because his roommate met her independently. he just lost out.

so does he tell her that he wants her? of course not. his roommate is dating her.

so he begins to live vicariously through their relationship. she spends lots of time over at their place because she lives with her parents.

all being christians, everything is very platonic. there is no sex, nothing sinny. just wholesome courting. and bill has no reason to believe anyone’s doing anything sinny. sure she sleeps over. sure she showers there, sure they go away for a weekend away here and there. but it’s a don’t ask, don’t tell. no one has to question whether there’s anything to bring up with the pastor.

at the same time, bill assumes lots is going on. and it helps with his masturbating. but that’s private too. as is his hidden boner when she’s over in the winter, wearing pajamas and a housecoat and the roommate is out at night with a client at a conference downtown or something. bill just KNOWS she’s not wearing anything under those pajamas.

so bill finds his own gf and dates and then another and another and they move in together. that’s the relationship that ended recently.

so, roommate and that girl get married 8 years ago. and they start a life. and in recent years, bill and his gf and his married friends develop a nice couples friendship. even going on vacations together. no mfmf, but that doesn’t stop bill from continuing to use her as an object of masturbation. that’s private so it’s separate from his relationship anyway.

but the intersection of the 3sum gets complicated a few months ago, after bill has been through some therapy and figured out a bunch of his shit.

he’s now a 3rd wheel again with that his old roommate and his wife. not in an “in the way” way, but just it’s an odd number now.

and he’s invited over to dinner now and then, as good christians [and old friends] do. one night in july, he goes over to their apartment after work for dinner but he’s out with a client and would join them for a later dinner.

she greets him at the door and they hug. as always. but this hug lingers. she lingers it. and when she finally releases him, she turns to her left and rubs her boobs along bill’s chest as she’s turning away. completely gratuitous sexual contact. not accidental. but bill thinks maybe this doesn’t mean as much as his throbbing manhood wants it to mean. i mean, come on. she’s married.

they have a beer and chat for an hour or so before hubby comes home. during that talk, questions about loneliness come up. like, is he lonely now.

bill says he’s actually feeling good now. not lonely. just alone. and that’s ok. and oddly, he felt lonely in the last couple years of his relationship. even though he was not single. and that once they broke up, the loneliness left. very odd. but it makes sense.

it makes more sense when you add in the lack of closeness, which is what she asks about next. lots of coy, deflected talk about how bill’s relationship had been “drifting and distant”. all it meant was he hadn’t successfully had sex with his gf for many months. they’d tried, but she wasn’t into it or she was sliding into a place of what he calls vaginal rejection. not frigidity but just not all that relaxed enough for a good fuck, even with lots of foreplay. maybe that’s frigidity he thinks. i think it is.

so then bill gets brave and says, what the fuck. and tells her what he means by distant. the no sex, the platonic roommate relationship, the problem getting her to release her tension and let him in her. and how in the end, the only times he’s had an orgasm with her in their last year was in the shower when she’d get him to slide his cock in between her legs, in and out, until he came. and she’d get off on the cock-clit loving.

and so, bill concludes, that he was lonelier with her than he had been with her. and now he’s just alone.

so, girl married to his friend, who’s been listening with empathy and understanding talks about being able to relate to that story. they’d been through the 7 year itch and no one had an affair or anything, but they’d fell into a groove that was boring. a rut, he asks. yes, a rut. and, she snorts a bit, she can relate to the dry stretch without sex. husband is engaged and loving, but not so interested. so bill starts getting a boner. duh.

and this is a kind of place where he should be thinking of calling dibs, which is what i tell him at this point in the story. and again, it’s not like they’re at a bar seeing a new girl. there’s a decade of history, but i say sure, but that’s all being reset. not that they’re magically divorced, but she’s in play. but i know that because he’d already teased me with the end of the story, so i know where it’s going.

and she goes on a bit talking about her speculation. is he sleeping around. is he gay. is he just not into her anymore. do they need some more sexy spice. she goes, “i mean, i’ve still got the same body, plus maybe 15 pounds but all that has added to my curves.” and bill describes her body to me. big boobs but not huge, though full enough when he remembers her in pajamas a decade ago. hippy like me about about the same size waist as me, not killer hourglass, but curvy. and this night she’s wearing a scoop-T with a modest amount of cleavage catching the light.

and after describing her weight gain, she leans forward and touches the gap between her boobs and says she still has what it takes for loving.

“i’d say” says bill, nervous, but happy. “would you” she replies. “yes.”

then she talks about more sexy spice and doing something about a dissatisfying part of life as opposed to sitting around waiting for life to improve. and that she wants to put a bit of an ultimatum to her husband, do you want to hear my plan.

bill: yes.

she says that she doesn’t want to grill bill about anything her husband may or may have told him about their marriage and make him betray any confidences [which it turns out he carries none], but at dinner that night she wants to take advantage of bill being there to kind of confront her husband, in a kinda christian accountability kinda way. but the ultimatum is that she’s tired of sex being non-existent or unfulfilling and she insists that change. and that she wants to have sex with bill that night after dinner [and this isn’t adultery because there’s no deception!]. and that she doesn’t want to exclude her husband, but include him of course. but that if he isn’t into at least being in the room or being involved, she still wants to have sex with bill. she needs more and she’s going to do something to get more. what do you think of that plan, she says. because i love you like a brother, but you’re not a brother and in the end i knew you first anyway.

and in bill’s mind is the logical part reviewing her plan and seeing the logic in it. but that’s like 8% of his head while the rest of his entire existence is about fucking his friend’s wife tonight “for free”. and this is definitely a dibs moment.

he says the plan sounds daring. and spicy for sure. and risky. but really interesting.

and she says she’s happy to hear that. and she touches the cock track between her boobs again and says she just won’t be waiting anymore to get things going.

so bill asks how long has it been since she’s had sex. it’s been months.

but she goes on to say she’s really committed to the plan. she thought it up a few weeks earlier and chickened out once already when they all went out to dinner. she didn’t want to spring it on bill in case he said no or got feeling awkward. so tonight was a chance to avoid that problem/excuse.

and she says that no matter what she’s having sex tonight, but because she will do it with someone else anyway, she wants to totally commit to the plan by getting started now.

so bill does the time math in his head and calms down thinking that they’ve got lots of time before the husband comes home [such the home wrecker!] and says yes.

so up she gets off the couch and up he gets and they walk together and she hugs him again. very long this time. and she pulls back a bit and rubs her right hand down her left breast, pushing her bra and T down to release her “absolutely killer tit.” bill’s words.

so he grabs it with one hand and her ass with the other and she’s rubbing his cock. then there’s the kissing and nipple sucking and his hand down her pants where it’s all hot and wet.

and the fucking on the living room floor is fast, like 4 minutes. and bill’s thinking no worries about his friend getting home. silly to be nervous about that. dreaming of fucking her for a decade. imagining her under her pajamas. imagining her while she’s in the shower. stealing glances at her in the pool, just getting a sense of the cut of her hip bones and how her tits move in the water.

and when they get into the fucking, she’s so wet he wants to pump lots, but he barely had much chance to pull back because she was pulling him in so hard. all the while sucking his tongue like she was giving it a bj.

and her hip grinding made her shudder when she came and she started catching her breath, and despite the lack of pumping to get him towards cumming, her breath is what made him shoot it.

and he stayed hard for the 19 hours it felt like she just held him in her.

and while he didn’t have a chance to call dibs a decade ago, he did that night.

and while they laid there naked on the floor, they talked about lots of history. early mutual crushes. what if thoughts. confirmation that she was fucking her roommate [before marriage, shock!], sometimes when he was also in the apartment. sometimes when they were in the shower after being downstairs in the pool. once she rubbed him off under the blanket on the couch once bill fell asleep watching a movie with them. and many other confessions and fantasies.

and he spent a good amount of time sucking her tits, which he had fixated on for such a long time.

then they cleaned up, got dressed [with dry panties for her], talked some more and had dinner.

and with 2 glasses of wine in her, she drops the bomb on her husband and pitches her plan. and he’s floored. and he decides by the look on bill’s face that it’s shocking to him to, when in reality it was just being there for the bomb.

but ultimately he says if he says no, it’ll happen anyway. so he can’t go out or something. so he says he’d stay. and admitted some curiosity in watching his wife fuck someone else.

and after more beer and wine they’re in the bedroom and while he watches, bill spends a crazy amount of time rubbing her tits and pussy and ass before even stripping her. then bill takes a bj while fingering her, then being low on semen, he spins around and fucks her. and despite what happened earlier, when he gets close to cumming she gets him to pull out and cum in her mouth. she says she wants her husband to cum in her.

and after bill cums, she pulls her husband over and though he suggests some privacy, she says bill should get to watch too. and from his vantage point, they appeared to have some great sex. she rode his face for a while. she sucked him tenderly and she let him ram her in the way that bill wanted to earlier.

and after he came, and some cuddling, he rolled off her and she pulled the cum out and rubbed it onto her bush and clit until she got all sticky with that beautiful anarchy of cum tangled pubes.

“ok, i’m gonna head out now” is all bill could really pull together after some silent minutes, post-coital. no formal goodbyes or conversations. everyone was quite wasted.

and i checked last week. that was the last bill had contact with them. he decided to leave it in their court for communication. but after labour day, he’s going to call her and check things out. and while he certainly wants to fuck her again [and again and again and again], he’s prepared to either never see them again, fuck her secretly or openly, or see everything go back to normal, or something in between. my fingers are crossed for more fucking. of course.

so dibs. be assertive. take advantage of moments. girls, call dibs too, and put yourself into a dib-able position. and if circumstances conspire to remove a dibs opportunity, you may simply have to wait 10 years. or be on the lucky end of someone else in the future losing a dibs opportunity. trust the universe. but don’t sit back and wait for naked partners to hop into your lap. go out and get some!

How did you find me?

My wordpress stats are always good for a hoot.

Here I am, trying to find things to do in the next several days to ward off the start of school [denial, i know], and i’m trolling my stats for the search terms people use to get to…me. Here are the best of the 1’s [spelling is, of course, optional!]:

Search Views
braless at church 1
sex girls 1
fucking pose & tips 1
how to introduse your swettie to anal sex 1

Braless at church. I’m so impressed that anyone would think to google that. How awesome!

In touch,


Even Christians Need Gaydar

I had the mildly unpleasant duty of telling my friend Charlotte that the boy she has a crush on is gay. Bi, at the very least.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that… 🙂

Being bi myself, I can’t really judge Charlotte’s boy at all. But the unfortunate part of all this is that Charlotte assumes everyone at her church is straight…because they’re at her church.

Being Christian doesn’t mean you’re straight. Most Christians are straight because most people are mostly straight.

Christians at conservative not-so-gay friendly churches are not allowed to be gay. And if they are, as long as they don’t partake of any gay sex, they’re technically not sinning.

Christians at progressive, liberal churches can be as gay as they like.

But my dear Charlotte has liked this boy for some time now. She’s spoken of him often and last sunday I attended her church, mostly to see this dude. She insisted I wear a bra, btw.  🙂

So in about 10 seconds after meeting this guy, I knew he was gay. And he, of course, doesn’t know she has a crush on him. I can’t tell if he knows he’s gay or if he’s just ok with being who he is. He just seems to like Charlotte. And why not. She’s awesome.

But the assumption that males at conservative churches are worth being attracted to because they’re not gay for sure, is a bad one. It means girls don’t have to cultivate gaydar. This can be a debilitating disease.

Now, our agenda is to figure out why Charlotte is falling for a gay guy. Has she done this in the past? What has been her relationship like with her father? Is she looking for a safe guy to avoid real sex pressures or actual commitment?

These are the questions we are now talking about.

And maybe I’m reading too much into it. Maybe Charlotte just lacks gaydar. But either way, we’re going to get to the bottom of it!

In touch,