And then some honesty…

so after my initial posting, which was pretty tame, got some angry judgement, someone else piped in with some HONESTY! her post is below with my comments following it.

Hi Sex4Holly

I found your post amusing. I am not surprise that there is alot of sex going on in Christian clubs or in Christian churches. 20 years ago I got saved at 20 in a Pentecostal Church. I went to a Sunday school class called the ‘College Class’ because 60% of the kids were in college. About 25% of the kids were newly saved kids who never heard of church life. I came from a Baptist background but my parents and the people I lived around pretty much lived for themselves. There was no talk about salvation, personal relationship with Christ, living holy before the Lord, or Christianity. We I got saved I was surrounded by kids who were 3rd and 4th generations of there grandparents and moms and dads who had grew up in the church. This church was well known in the community. As a new believer I was excited about my relationship with the Lord and so glad to be around kids who knew scriptures as they rolled off their tongues. They could talk the talk of Christian terminology. I was however surprised to find out that as I had come out of the world many of the kids were in it and I mean in it! The Christian guys had no boundaries when trying to feel you up as men in the world did when I was in it. The kids would sit in their cars in the church parking lot at night and do it, neck, feel you up, name and it it was done. I know this because a few of the girls told me the church parking lot at night was one of the many hang out places the kids went to. I remember telling a new brother in the Lord I had become friends with if this was really true and he said, what did you think that all these people are really saved?’ I remember the word had got to the youth pastor what had been going on for a long time and about how many of the kids in ministry were hitting the town and going to some rough secular clubs. I remember the youth pastor telling the kids that if they were going to live for Jesus they were going to have to allow Jesus to be Lord over their lives. Some kids left the church, some said the pastor was coming down to hard and yet others came to the altar and repented. That day I ask Jesus to take away the sexual desire I had in the world. I knew if I wanted my relationship with the Lord to work that had to go.

I am glad you are being honest with were you are at.

Honest sex talk in the Christian community is taboo. Trust me Christians are having sex outside of marriage. I use to volunteer at the Pregnancy Resource Center and there were Christian woman coming in have pregnancy test who were not married and very scared. The Christian community needs to get off the fence on this important issue within the Christian community. The devil is selling sex, talking about sex, advertising about sex to every age 24/7 365 days of the year. Once in a blue-moon the subject of sex will be talked about. Many churches don’t want to believe that their youth are engaged in sexual activity or that their single men and woman are engaged in sexual activity. If you denied the problem exist then it does not need to be discussed. The body of Christ needs to deal with this libido issue in a realistic, compassionate and loving way a responsible father who watches out for his kids future would do.

whew.

i’m not saying she totally agrees with me or believes what i do or whatever, and that doesn’t matter. she at least recognizes the REALITY of life. i’m not kidding about the beyond-hand-holding that goes on in churches and Christian university groups.

and i’m not kidding about the cybersex in BigChurch.com itself.

and i’m not kidding about the girls i chatted in there about their sexual history and beliefs and how they run up against sexist church teaching and practice.

and i’m not kidding about what some of the men in their 40s expressed to me in IM sessions in BigChurch.com.

reality is reality and regardles of what people think it ought to be, it is what it is and there’s a lot of folks who aren’t guilted out by their activities. that’s gotta say something about the amount of people who aren’t “bible-beliving” in BigChurch.com, or are maybe just hypocrites.

not that Christian hypocrites are rare or anything. i’m sure one. like tons of others i guess. but i do my best. reverent agnosticism helps. more on that later.

one thing that stands out in this response is this “I ask Jesus to take away the sexual desire I had in the world. I knew if I wanted my relationship with the Lord to work that had to go.”

i just can’t see that. i know all the verses about heterosexual sex only within marriage. but this kind of self-oppression before marriage and voluntary repression cannot be healthy in the long run. with so much sexual sin and suffering inside Christian marriages, i think the cold shower theology is to blame.

and then, “Honest sex talk in the Christian community is taboo. Trust me Christians are having sex outside of marriage…The Christian community needs to get off the fence on this important issue within the Christian community.” i totally agree with this. honesty means truth telling which leads to shame and guilt and realizing that the church isn’t really being the church.

and if you define yourself as a church, you sure don’t wanna hear about it not being so.

but on this point, i have a different take, “The devil is selling sex, talking about sex, advertising about sex to every age 24/7 365 days of the year.”

as sex is stolen by marketing and violent and disrespectful sexmongerers, people, ESPECIALLY GIRLS AND WOMEN in our culture need to talk more to make sure we protect ourselves: from STDs, losers, violators, people who guilt you into doing stuff and anything that disrespects us, our emotions and our bodies.

in touch,
holly

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