The lie of men who "honour" women: something i learned today

this post is from my blog in bigchurch.com. in there recently, some guys have been saying blunt, insensitive, woman-hating comments/jokes which they apologize for later by regretting being insensitive. women who respond to their filth end up apologizing for their reaction…which i think is shameful and a result of a chauvanistic society that makes women feel guilty for making men feel bad. gimme a break.

essentially the advice i give below is for all chicks, but christian girls in particular cuz in christian communities it seems to be more acceptable to put up with woman-hating.

………………….

in writing a response to some guy’s anti-woman hatefilled generalizing comment on another blog post i figured out something about men.

and this isn’t about Men in general but lots men i’ve known. most Men i’ve known haven’t really been a physical, mortal or emotional threat to me.

2 have.

at any rate. men who actually hate women [but dont’ know it] often claim to love and respect women. they talk the charm talk and sleep around [showing their love of women in general] and claim to be nice to women. but they also abuse women emotional, mentally and physically. actually hitting women with the baseball bat is only mildly more awful than swinging it menacingly.

so what i’m saying is that some men hate women when they think they don’t. but theire actions betray their true feelings. and what i figured out in writing a post in someone elses blog is that the women they love are the ones who won’t challenge their dominance over women. women are great if they build these men up. women forgive them for their blunt, insensitive comments. women recognize their painful past often causes their bad behaviour. being generous and forgiving is fine, but if the person yer extending forgiveness to KEEPS picking up the baseball bat or posting horribly insensitive anti-women comments or “jokes”, he needs to go to jail….or the equivalent in a blog…at the very least being challenged on his rudeness and offense.

so the women-hating men only love women who keep the men in power over them.

advice time..women and girls: men who at times treat you with respect, but at other times hurt or try to hurt you are faking it when they are treating you with respect. you need to be firm and assertive with them. you must call them on their horse turds. you must let them know that you will put them in jail if they threaten or hurt you. you must tell your friends, the rcmp, your mutual friends and take the risk of looking victimized…CUZ YOU HAVE BEEN VICITIMIZED. and because of that, the women-hating men trust that you’ll live in the shame and not nail them for it.

but you shouldn’t. you should name them as the bullies they are and let them and their social network know that if any threats or attacks [physical, mortal, emotinoal, psychological] come your way, you will respond with lawyers, the rcmp, or in the end in dire times with the kickboxing you’ve been learning. if you aren’t learning kickboxing, get on it, girls!

a gf of mine lives in a big condo. someone she knows a few floors down was broken into one night last month when his wife was outta town and he was sleeping and there 2 year old was asleep in her bedroom. the burglar got some jewelry and the ipod and even went into the kid’s bedroom and took the coin jar. so lame. but that’s not the point.

the point is that the sleeping guy was freaked out, not only at the thought of burglar in his daughter’s room, but that he was freaked out that if he was awake, he would have killed him with his kickboxing. now i know americans are down with having guns at home and feeling ok about killing intruders who wanna steal the plasma tv. but this guy was terrified that if he were awake he would not have stopped attacking the burglar until the guy/girl [whatever] was dead. and that crushed him. but i’d do the same. even if it meant years of therapy to get over killing a guy with my bare feet cuz he was in my daughter’s room.

my point is that i found great strength from that story. i’m willing to defend myself against people who emotionally, psychologically, physically or mortally threaten me. be it the rcmp, lawyers, shaming the guy with his friends and coworkers or physically defending myself to the point of mildly or if need be seriously injuring him [or more if necessary] if my life is in danger.

if americans can kill intruders with guns to protect their plasma tvs, i will protect myself against men who claim to respect women, but callously abuse and dishonour them.

if someone posts a beautiful blog piece where love and joy take place and some woman-hating man who claims to respect women spreads a piece of toad turd in there about women, i will not need to use my kickboxing to incapacitate him. but if i go somewhere else to respond to his filth, the post remains beautiful, yet with some unchallenged assualts on women coming from women-hating me.

so. that said. i need to reiterate to the people who backhandedly accuse me of hating men. that only two men i’ve known have had the capacity and mental tendency to kill or hurt me. they’re no threat to me anymore.

since them, i’ve encountered 2 others i spotted as those types at parties or as friends of friends. one of the guys was an athlete in a contact sport [which i won’t disparage by naming] and was really inappropriately physically aggressive…”just joking” tho even after he was making me and 2 gfs really uncomfortable and we said so. the other i was making out with and he wanted to go further than i did. it was one of those right on the edge of date rape that most girls encounter [yet mostly don’t report]. i stopped it with a minor kickboxing move that merely bruised him bigtime on one muscle.

i ended contact with them without ambiguity. i let them know that if they interacted with me again, i’d maim them. starting with their family jewels. they called me nasty names, but it worked. they’ve stayed away. part of how it worked is i let our mutual friends know how they crossed a line, so it’s out there and if they think they can cruise back my way without anyone else knowing, it won’t work cuz already tons of people know.

and in the end, i love Men in general and most of the men i’ve met in my life have been awesome, even if i haven’t gotten close to them or liked them much, they’ve been honourable human beings and respectful of women.

but i tell ya…the few in the tiny minority who think it’s ok to knock women around a bit, need to know that i will do my best to maim them and their future ability to sire offspring. and unlike the guy who shuddered to think that he woulda killed his intruder if he was awake, i’m willing to do so if my life is on the line. i’d be prepared for learning how to deal with it after the fact, but i’d rather deal with killing an abuser than being dead. DEAD. and to the men who think it’s funny that a good thing about dead women is they nag less, should give their head a shake, contact their local ywca and take a rape crisis counsellor out to a nice olive garden lunch and ask her/him about their day.

and those of you who wish to write off my comments and accuse me of being a man-hater, read again what i wrote about the proportion of men in my life i’ve loved. and if you still feel legitimate to criticize me, you must first share with us all your story that is similar or worse to being a teenage girl with a pre-teen sister and a bruised mother dealing with a jerk dad who picks up baseball bats and waves them back and forth to get his way and make the women in his life honour him.

if your story is in the same boat, i welcome your criticism.

if it’s not, your criticism might be met with some harsh reply.

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3 Responses

  1. There are a lot of men who abuse and dishonor women, it’s true. My mother’s first husband, my “biological sperm donor” as we’ve come to call him, was a drug addict, and beat my mom. She put an end to that with a cast iron frying pan to the forehead.

    But also, there are a lot of women who use and dishonor men as well.

    I think there generally needs to be more love for everyone in our lives.

  2. if any of you creeps try to harm this girl ever again…..she’ll take care of your dicks, i’ll take care of the rest. You motherf*ckers!!!!

    Wonlov

  3. well that’s a chivalrous sentiment. ya. i live a life of extreme safety though. threatening people in general are not in my life. i don’t live in fear. i did. not anymore.

    thanks for the willingness to visit punishment on strangers. đŸ™‚

    IF i need some help, i’ll be asking for it. i know a couple cops. they’re a good start.

    in touch,
    holly

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