It’s Easy Being Green, and Slutty, In Vancouver

greeeeeeeen!I was a hipster the other night, wandering Main Street with friends, when we get distracted by this “fuck me hard while I wear this revealing corset” shop on 16th.

I enjoy being slutty while trying to reclaim the word slut from those who want to shame me and my sisters and slutty brothers from enjoying doses of wild and usually inappropriate sex.

I want to head back to this shop and buy this dress and cram my ass into it and wear it with the straps constantly falling.

I want to wear it, commando, to dance at a club while loaded on fruity rum drinks. And I want my people to fondle my dress while I’m dancing. I want them to rub my ass and tits and cunt through it. I want them to reach down the top to go after a nipple periodically.

I want to go into the bathroom so one of my girls can feel me up in it while others watch how creamy I get, in part just cuz I’m in the dress. My new orgasm dress.

Then I want to go home with my friends, after meeting at least one new person [usually it’s a girl] to add to our group. At least for just the night.

And I want at least 3 people to fondle me in it.

And I want one person to suck my clit while someone else’s fingers are creaming me up.

And I want those at least 3 people to peel this dress off me and each of them, fuck me. However they wish.

And I want to sleep beside this dress. And put it on the next morning and walk around the house in it, eating breakfast and berries. And then I want a boy to lie me down on the bed, push the dress up and fuck me while I daydream of lying on a beach in south Asia looking out into the ocean at all those tall rock islands with tropical vegetation all over the top.

I want this dress to smell like my cream, other people’s cum and all my sweat and other people’s lipstick.

Then if it’s a drizzly day, I’m going to drape it over the rose bush on the balcony to freshen it up.

Then that night I will wear it to Sandbar just before the dinner rush and sit at the bar drinking rum and root beer, with my Kindle, reading and enjoying people looking at me and wanting to fuck me. I will not let any boys take me home to fuck me, but any girl who wants to try on my dress is welcome!

Then, as they say, later rinse repeat.

I fucking LOVE this dress!


Three-Peats and Going Commando.

i had an interesting chat with buddy friday night. he told me about all the fucking he did in the previous 24 hours. most of it not with me. 🙂

but with our reasonably open, polyamourous relationship, of me, him and my gf [and his gf sometimes], we’re pretty cool with it all.

but we hit a new high of amazing with his story from thursday night.

he was at the irish heather. showed up to meet a friend after the spectacular canucks game. not so much.

his friend was with a girl he know from work and her friend from sfu, an elementary school student teacher, “kelly”. i’m a high school teacher, buddy likes me. he took an interest in the student teacher. nice fellow. hospitable.

turns out this student teacher is the kelly osbourne body type, not quite half way from chubby to svelte. who turns down fatties, goes the sick demeaning saying? only rude boys. my buddy isn’t rude. now i’m not fat, but i have serious hips. curviness. buddy likes that. me too.

he described her like this. attractive to look at. moved and talked sensually, like she was a dancer, and had a tone of erotic.

after some short small talk amongst all 4 of them, he moves beside her and smiles and says boy, you’re a real triple threat. as he’s telling me this i roll my eyes, wondering what it means, but it sounds like a baaaaad line. quite beneath him.

kelly says how so. buddy tells her she is very attractive to the eye, a sensual person as she relates to other people, but he leaves out the 3rd thing. she asks about the omission. he says he’ll tell her later. tease.

she says she’s about to go, so he should tell her now. he asks where. she says she needs to take a cab to sandbar to meet her roommate to borrow her apartment key. then she asks if he’d like to go to sandbar with her.

clothes check:

buddy: jeans, sweater.

kelly: plaid skirt, shirt with buttons and “frilly lacy sleeves and neckline”. [i love his sense of fashion.]

he says yeah, but she needs to do something first. she says what. he says she needs to give him her panties for safekeeping. and that’s the 3rd part of the triple threat. and she smiles and does the squint thing he likes so much and says ok. and she walks past him, rubbing her arm along his chest [which gives him more of a boner], and heads to the bathroom.

a minute later she’s back and she and buddy tell their respective friends they’re heading to sandbar and all say see ya.

buddy gets outside with kelly to look for a cab and turns to her, saying “well?”

and she squeezes her baby blue panties into his hand. he opens them up and grins and she quickly closes them up again and stuffs them back into his hand and closes it.

and he moves beside her and puts his arm around her while they wait for a cab. and he slides his arm down her arm to her waist, then slides his hand from her waist, over her hip and down her thigh a bit and back up. feeling her skirt and enjoying the feeling of knowing there’s nothing but skin under it.

cab comes and they get in.

on the way he leans over and tells her to move her knees apart. she says no, smiling. i suppose she didn’t want to get anything on in a cab. so he asks if she’d do it if he promises not to touch her. she says ok and opens her legs.

and he doesn’t touch her. gentleman. though he does move his hand over and around and in between her knees, just without touching her.

but he does lean back over to her and says that because she’s such a triple threat, he wants to come in her three times before the sun comes up. and she smiles and he explains in intricate detail how she shifts her body around in her seat a bit as if she were suddenly uncomfortable.

she later told him that while she was vaginally moist in the bathroom when stripping, once he said that, she got all drippy.

and when they got to sandbar, they met her roommate upstairs and got her keys and they walked the 20 minutes home to her apartment on false creek. tho they stopped a couple times for necking and once to look out over the water while he stood behind her and rubbed his cock on her ass and pushed her hand onto her crotch to rub a bit. and then he felt how nuclear hot her pussy was.

inside her apartment he pushed her up against the hall way wall and started kissing her and pulled her skirt up to rub her ass.

then he went down on her and played with her muff [longish], sucked her clit and fingered her until she came. then they went into her bedroom and without all that delay of stripping, he fucked her and came in her and when he pulled out and his come started dripping out he pulled her panties out of his pants pocket and rubbed her pussy with them, teasing out the rest of his come and sopping it up in her panties.

then they made out some more and got naked and he got his cock hard again eventually rubbing on her boobs. and then he fucked her again for a long time. too soon for him to come again, he just fucked and lubed and fucked and lubed, mostly doggy style, until she came again.

then there was sleep. then there was the middle of the night wake up fuck: scissor position. and he filled her again.

then more sleep. then after a while she wakes him up while she’s giving him a hand job. she climbs on top and rides him until he cums, doesn’t take long. morning wood and all.

then they shower [more sucking her clit] then have some eggs and he takes off.

i never really had any illusions that elementary school teachers were more pure and virginal than high school teachers. but when i heard all this story, i realized that i don’t know many elementary school teachers who are so slutty. so maybe i did have a kind of bias. not so much any more. she was a fuck fiend. in the best of ways.

and so friday when buddy got home, he was on fire and poked my pussy until we were raw. then he tells me this story.

what a gal, this kelly. and while she’s not bi, she has been with girls a couple times. and i’m interested in adding a +1 to that when she comes over sunday afternoon before she goes to her folks house in burnaby for easter dinner.

she already told buddy that this holiday weekend is feeling more like thanksgiving than easter. and not because she hadn’t been poked in years or anything, but just that she had never had 3 pokes and 2 slurps all inside 12 hours before.

i like this girl already! 🙂

Braless Parties Have Rules Like the Fight Club

ok, so i haven’t seen the fight club, but i know there are rules. like the first rule is to not talk about fight club? right?

the first rule of braless parties is that girls who do not arrive without a bra are required to take them off. they may take it home when they leave.

that’s it. otherwise, it’s just a party, except with nipples everywhere. and a heightened state of eroticism.

i like games with a small number of rules. like, orgasm=suck me. simple.

we’ve had about 5 nights in the last few weeks that have been declared braless. we’ve tried for 4 more, but various girls vetoed the idea.

i can respect that. we tried once they were already over. not everyone was interested. now we give fair warning. but not every party is braless. that’s just CRAZYass!!!

so our tina’s young fresh nubile virginal adventurous timid honest shy outgoing cool nerdy sister has moved to town. going to sfu studying arts. pick a major lllllllllllllllater girl. good girl.

and she’s living in res and enjoying meeting people.

and she’s come over a few times. only 1 was a time when we were having a braless party.

that’s her bra above. C-cup. but she’s already gained 3 pounds since she moved to town in august so we’re bugging her about the other 10 pounds she’ll gain this year and how she’ll need all new bras. she’ll have none of that. good girl again.

at any rate, she’s a good girl. christian too, so i approve. 🙂

she’s had some boyfriends, she’s been to third base, she’s dated guys who weren’t virgins, but she still is. and her goal is to change all that. not in the same crazy sex-fiend way that i did 6 years ago when i came to vancouver. at least i hope.

no i take that back. i hope she does what she does. even bad shit is a learning experience.

me and tina and her have created an account for her. we won’t tell her i.d. though. but if you ask me [smwr1982] i might tell it if i screen you and you pass. lol

she realllllly wants to go in there and hang out in the chat rooms and hear how all that’s done. i told her it’s less representative of the real world than the real world. our parties are also less representative, but at least at our place there won’t be 900 boys trying to get her to watch them cum.

not that there’s anything wrong with that. 🙂

so of all the hijinks going on at our braless parties, tina’s sister has been a good little girl. granted the majority of girls at these parties don’t spring into orgies. in fact, most nights nothing happens.

but one things for sure. her statuesque build and big boobies are a hit.

and while she has not been ignored by the boys, she’s staking out her turf.

this is just one benefit of braless parties.

i highly recommend them. especially if you like the boobies!:)

in touch,

holly and tina

Sex Tip #19: The Rest of Us Are Better Than Strippers

Ok, This is Tina and Holly tonight.

First the point: Christian boys…don’t bother with strippers. We know it’s exciting to think about going, but honestly it’s not worth it. Even if your Christian girl is not a supermodel body type, get her to strip for you. Trust us, it’s way better. And Christian girls…don’t be offended if your Christian boy wants to see strippers. Go with him. Even if he goes with friends. Learn what the boys are looking at. Learn what the strippers are doing. Then go home and do your own version of it. Truth. It’ll be good for you, especially because while the strippers cannot touch themselves or the patrons, you can. 🙂

OK, so the story is not to denegrate strippers. I know some feminists oppose stripping and others accept it. I’m of mixed minds on that. Holly is a whore and loves them all.

Gordon [previously Barry in here] finally got around to telling us tonight about the strippers he went to see a few weeks ago with his cousin from Calgary. It seems in Calgary everyone goes to strippers. 🙂

So they go to Brandy’s in town. Expensive, high class. Above a massage parlour. Lots of good dancers. Lots of bored looking dancers.

Holly and I went to the Cecil one night last summer. Same kind of show. Mostly boring. Mostly a hassle keeping the smelly old men off us and finding a way to get drinks from the not smelly young men without having to blow them in their cars.

And Holly went to see a Burlesque show earlier in the summer and built a big crush on a girl. As Holly tells it, she was short, plump like her, bigger bottom though, very breasty and a Katie Holmes bob cut. And she did her dance and strip and was mildly blushing. The whole time. And she was excited to be doing it all. Amateur exhibitionism. Quite a rush. Holly asked her if she wanted company to the after party. She said she was meeting her friends so probably not. A polite rejection we all concluded. Too bad. Holly got all hot.

So Holly thinks amateurs get into it better then pro strippers. Could be.

But Gordon. They’re out at this swanky place and they’re watching stags and [odd] stagettes flow through the place but all the while, there’s a group of a half dozen girls sitting on the rail in the front row. Half of them are bi/les as they’re into mild necking sessions here and there. And some of them are into putting a 5 or a 10 in their teeth and getting to rub their faces into the strippers boobs to pass on the cash. I didn’t think that was allowed. I doubted Gordon. He swears it was true.

Anyway, Gordon and his cousin were at times more interested in watching these young girls and the young boys trying to get into their pants, than watching the more dull bored strippers. And as he tells it…

But then something miraculous happened. One of the girls at the railing starts necking with a boy who seemed to have been hanging around them all night. The she kneels on his chair straddling him. Still kissing.

Then she’s back standing on the floor leaning her bum against the rail. And the fellow bends over, lifts her dress and starts licking her pussy. Clearly pushing her panties around and just sucking her off. And the girlfriends get all antsy at this, watching it all. As is everyone else in the place. Then they all get their coats and leave.

And as Gordon says, it was the climax of the evening. Few dancers after that little show could hold anyone’s attention in the same way. Eventually he left and came over to my place for some 1am cuddles.

The moral of the story: amateur exhibitionism is far more effective than professionals. Who seem to be banned by law from doing anything too risque anyways!

Sex Tip #16: Get it While You’re Young

[Don’t look at the pix at the end of this post until then.] 🙂

Gravity. I remember it. Or rather I remember when it wasn’t such a big deal.

At times I’ve lamented being sexually inactive before [gasp] 22. and the 7-9 years before then of not using my breasts to their fullest potential.

And I’m not complaining that I’m old and saggy and physically repulsive. I love my bod and appreciate it for all it is. But my gf is 19. I’m 26. Gravity exists for her, but not to the degree it does me.

And i get in moods sometimes when i regret my celibate teen years. But regret tends to replace lessons from various chapters in life. So I avoid giving in to regret.

The tip here is not to be a fuck-whore teenage Christian girl. The tip is to at the very least, enjoy your breasts and maybe share them with someone you are fond of. While yer under 20. That’s it.

So this pix, I saw it with buddy tonight. He liked this awesome cheerleader. And in my mind, I remembered breasts that had a stranglehold on gravity as these do.

Ah the good old days. 🙂

But at least I have my gf!

News from Chinese Earthquake Survivor Stories

my gf tina is a doll. her little sis is a dollface. she’s also a sentimental, kittens are proof that god loves us, kinda girl. not naive, but open-hearted.

i don’t mock the stuff she emails. tho sometimes i do reply with some good-humoured snark.

but this week she’s been sending this stuff about survivor stories from China’s earthquake last week.

and they’re killing me. so i share the three most amazing with you. no sex. no tips. no christian girls [as far as i know].

i hope these kill you too. in the good way.

1. a baby is found alive beside its mother who died. in the blanket with the baby is a cel phone. on it is a text message saying to tell my baby that i love her.

2. a man with about 2% vision is rescued after a couple days. massive injuries, head bonk. wakes up and can’t see but has almost 20% sight. whether it will last, they don’t know. he’s ecstatic to be alive, but his ability to see light better continually moves him to tears.

3. a still breast-feeding woman survives the earthquake, but her baby doesn’t. but with all the orphans, she is nursing 6 of them.

when it gets to a point in life where i cannot imagine how i would feel/cope in a situation because it is too profoundly unimaginable. i fall speechless. when i’m not crying.

i just have no words.

I sold my car…this isn’t a sex tip :)

ok, so i sold my car for a return flight from university back to vancouver for the summer.

one of my roomates bought it because he NEEDS it, and he does. i won’t judge. but not me. i’ve enjoyed my cross-country trips from the left coast to school, but i’m done now.

hurricane katrina helped me decide. so did al gore’s inconvenient truth. the inconvenient truth is that we shouldn’t even have cars, i think. regardless of what fuel we put in them. hugo chavez, the prime minister of venezuela said you’d have to plan corn on every bit of land in the world to get enough ethanol to fuel all the cars we drive. then what would we eat!

so i sold my car and i’m going to live car free. i’m sure i can do it. hell, most people in the world do it. and vancouver has a great transit system, despite what the whiny idiots say about it being too slow and expensive. sure it costs money, but waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay less then a car.

i mean i must have spent like $10,000 on my car in the 5 years i had it, that’s $2000/year and a 3 zone bus pass in vancouver is like $130/month, which is way less then $2000/year.

and the time thing. people are stupid about time. STUPID, i say! it is not money. it is not your life. being on tranist lets me enjoy my time to relax. hell, i lost my watch at wreck beach 3 years ago and never replaced it. time is a variable. if you let it control your life, you are a loser. that’s the truth.


sell you car. 🙂

it feels great!

in touch,