Need Advice for My Sweet Friend

so yeah, i’m not much for asking for advice.

not because i’m perfect or genius but because i usually only write about things where i’m the expert. and that’s ok.

it’s also ok to say hey. what do you say to this dude. i’m at a bit of a loss for words.

there are 2 issues going on. they may be related, but only distantly. either way, they came up around the same time the other night.

we had another bra-less party that turned into a bit of a sex party on saturday. it was full of weird shit. booze, pot, chicks with assertive nipples and the men who love them.

i fucked no one, but i watched 3 orgasms, including one penetration event that made me want to cum right there. but i didn’t. i was the host.

but there was an afterparty. as there always is.

and a sweet dude friend of mine was the last one to be awake with me. on my bed. just talking. he lacks confidence. not that there was going to be the sex with me, but still. confidence thing.

within a few minutes of each other, these 2 things came out.

  1. in grade 5, he did something bad in school. no memory of what it was. he was generally a good kid. still is! but he got yanked out of the classroom where his nazi teacher started tearing into him…for whatever the thing was. she was tall and imposing and generally mean anyway. once she got a few sentences in, he peed his pants. right there in the corner of the hallway outside the classroom. i asked what he did after that. he guesses that he went back into class. he must have smelled like pee. everyone must have known, but he has no memory of that. but i don’t see how they couldn’t. no other memories of that day. no surprise there. amazing that he didn’t block that out. in fact, blocking that out would have been awesome. but it’s tormented him for almost 2 decades. so my question for advice is below. now read the next thing.
  2. we were also talking about things that were demeaning to us. sexually. i have a bunch of stories from university. i had low sexual self-esteem. boys did degrading things to me. not on my terms, unlike now. ๐Ÿ™‚ but i have recovered my sense of dignity from those events. my sweet dude friend, though, is similarly tormented by this sexual encounter. despite it being different from the pants peeing, it has the same effect on him. he was dating a girl in university. she worked in the library [not a student] and he was. they would watch movies at her place. sitting on her bed [studio suite]. he liked her. she was sexually self-determining. he was happy to get any kind of making out. but he was lacking confidence to “make a move” on her. so sweet! at any rate, they had a respectful friendship, with attraction. one night she “made a move” on him. she reached over and held his hand and said she wants to have a good time now. he blushed and kept telling the story. she started kissing him and rolled on top of him. grinding and going mmmm when he rubbed her ass. she talked dirty to him, “squeeze me, bitch” and “what are you going to do with that cock, you girlyblouse”. she took off her top and pants and helped him take off his clothes. but then she wouldn’t touch him. she lied there and when he touched her belly she grabbed his hard cock and squeezed. he winced and she said, there’s a price for touching her. so he had to think about that. hard, because all his brain blood was in his penis. so he rubbed her belly again and she squeezed him again. huge price for any contact. he thinks, how will he ever get to make the sex with her if she keeps squeezing his penis. good point. next move: he rubs a breast, over her bra. kind of hard. and yes she squeezes again. all this is new for him and he’s wondering how much touching her he can do before she squeezes off his penis. next: breast under the bra and pressing her nipple. squeeze, still the same amount of pressure. thank god, i guess. next: he pulls down the top of her panties, fast, to reveal her bush. squeeze. he lets go. then he moves around in position to pull her panties right off. i remark that that sounds really bold. and he’s like, yeah. if he’s going to be hurt he wants as much as he can get for it. i say that sounds very transactional. so yeah, he pulls her panties off next. she sits up reach for his penis for the squeeze. he gets them off eventually and when he stops touching her she lets go. she lies back. he pushes her legs apart, far. squeeze. then he lies down between her legs with his face close to her cunt. and he watches her box. she seems to be pretty solidly not moving, just letting him watch her cunt as her body breathes and her lips get more flushed. and he knows she can’t reach his penis in this orientation. so he puts his finger about a centimeter in front of her labia. he moves it up and down without touching her. this is fun for him. and her. he brings his finger back and kisses her cunt. he gets about 2 seconds there, feeling the warmth of her cunt and she leaps up and jumps at his cock. squeeze. 2 seconds, harder now. she ends up lying on the bed in a loose 69 orientation, with his penis within her easy reach. and her cunt is close to his face and hands. he pushes her legs apart again. squeeze. he spends a bit more time looking at her close up labia and bush. breathing her in. then he dives in. fingers rubbing and pulling her labia [squeeze], finger into her vagina, in and out getting creamy [still squeezing his penis], then his tongue on her clit just pressing but no flicking [constant squeeze now] and he just wants to stay in this position until…..he dies of pain or something else. after a few seconds [or hours in non-linear sex time] her hips pull back, he pushes his finger further up her vagina, and she moans a bit [all while squeezing]. at the moan, he cums. despite her squeezing. and he describes this cum as “trying to get your whole body through a basketball hoop.” ok, right. not the clearest analogy, but i get the point. hard to push the cum out of a squeezed penis. “but once it got out it was magic.” and his penis softened a bit and was less pained by her grip. did she cum, i ask. “yes?” he suggests. typical. ๐Ÿ™‚ juuuuust kidding. he’s a sensitive, giving man. and i ask what happened next. he said he was stunned because she didn’t wipe up his cum or dry up her creamy cunt. [not everyone worships kleenex] she just hopped up to the top of the bed, slid under the covers and called him up to get in there with her. and they watched tv. touching, hugging but no sex or other sexy acts. while he wonders if he should have tried to fuck with her, he is most “disturbed” by all that squeezing. that she wouldn’t “let” him have contact with her without there being a price. i said that it was a game. he wonders if i might be wrong and he’s right in presuming she wanted to hurt/oppress him and dangle her sex in front of him to be able to control him. i said the snuggly behaviour after he came shows she was in it for play. he mostly believes me. but i’m not going to try to fight to convince him that i’m right. so i’m crowd sourcing your wisdom.

so. my questions.

  1. what would you say to him about holding onto this self-torturing memory of peeing his pants in elementary school?
  2. and, vote on library girl: just playing or trying to degrade him?

i encourage/welcome your responses in the comments!

make my/his day! ๐Ÿ™‚

i love you all!

in touch,



Why I’m Only a Bit of a Prostitute

Prostitution. I’m in favour. To not be is to be a hypocrite. But with limits.

Last weekend i spent a wonderful time in Kelowna. At the Delta. A big ass expensive hotel, with nice sheets. But sadly, not a view of the lake. For me anyway.

Technically, I was a prostitute. I was driven in the fellow’s car, had my meals and the room paid for [tho his business covered the room], enjoyed the gifts of lingerie and a summer dress, and got fucked a number of times in exchange.

I returned home with no $100 in my purse or anything tho. So technically… ๐Ÿ™‚

But beyond technicalities, I hooked.

The guy was no stranger. He is the separated husband of a woman who taught at my school until last year. She was hard core in the micromanaging, cold fish, control freak way. She didn’t “get” students. And their need to not work 100% of their lives. They had been together for about 9 years. Married forย  5. He got over her intensity and dumped her.

He works in branding/marketing. Two things I REALLY don’t like, but I like his body. And he’s really funny.

Over the weekend, I learned his soon-to-be ex was an intense fucker. Intense like at school. Liked to suck him till he came, then get him hard again and make him work her until she came. Sometimes more than once.

So I did a bit of that. He enjoyed parts of the weekend doing the exact same stuff he did with her, but with the difference being me and my body and my style. Same process, different content he called it. These marketing people, eh! ๐Ÿ™‚

But my highlights were my times to explore what of him i’d always found attractive.

I wore no bra in the car and took off my panties on the highway. Did some rubbing in the car, of me, not him. My breasts and my clit.

And when we checked in i walked into the bathroom, into the shower, turned it on and wet me and my dress all up. And he fucked me all wet on the bed. That started the weekend well.

We got some room service and drank a bit, then he went out to the casino with some clients/marks.

Around 1130pm he phones me and asks if it’s ok to have some boys over to the room. I say sure. Committed to not fucking all 3 of them. And I didn’t, but I know that was a thing in his mind to see if it would end up there. Saucy man.

We all had drinks. They were generally polite, asking what I did, etc., but not so much about how me and “John” met. I guessed he told them, but I don’t think they know much about his marital past. New clients, or newish.

And then they left and I stripped and tied up John and gratified myself beside him on the bed while seeing if he’d cum. Nope. Good boy. Then I ordered pizza.

And while I opened the door only enough to bring in the pizza, John wasn’t so sure I wouldn’t fling the door wide open for delivery boy to see. Cue the porn music. I don’t know why he was worried. Maybe because that’s what I said I’d do with the door.



Whore, too.

Saturday, John’s is in conference/meeting/sales/branding/inspiration mode. I miss him all day. Sniff. I got shopping with his two . There are only 7,000 stores on Harvey. And one thing I love about the OK is that wearing a bikini around town, in the Subway, in the mall, is a uniform for some and not a problem for anyone [outwardly anyways].

And when I was in Sweet Dreams there were 3 girls [and by girls I mean 18-20] trying on things. One ended up quite high maintenance because each of the 3 of them and the staff sweetie all had different opinions about her “real” bra size. Clearly she had never had a proper fitting before. But after 19 million opinions she got some truth. 38C not 36D. That was fun to watch. But in the end she had to come to terms with not self-identifying as a D.

After the fitting and more hijinks and tryings-on, I mentioned to her in the corner how I’m a B. And while it’s not size that matters, it IS what you do with it. And I went into my stall and tightened up my bra one clasp and came back out and said that this difference makes a dull evening at the bar quite unpredictable. Then I went back in and loosened it to one clasp too loose and came back out and said, same for this. in a different way. It’s all about how you introduce your breasts to the world. And then I said I’d still fuck a penis regardless of which way it curves. FTW.

Anyway, I came away from there with this:

It’s a nice piece. Feels smooth. So picture this without the discrete bra and panty underneath it and that’s what i wore the rest of the weekend when we were in the room. Lots of access. And it got good and creamy.

Spent some time in the pool and sauna, got a bit frisky with myself in the sauna. That was nice. Then around 430pm John comes back to the room and I model my outfit for him. I ensure some time demonstrating the sheerness with which to see my nipples. And how I can untie the top to pull out a boob for himย and rub a recently released cock head on it. And how I can lie back on the bed and push the skirt down to cover my cunt but not hide its terrain. And how I can sit on the back of the couch with one foot up there too showing how such a little skirt allows his cock to rub along my lips while I rub his balls. And how I can hold his phone and take a short video of his cock rubbing my sticky lips [not inside my cunt, mind you, because that would be fornication] and how for all day he hasn’t been able to fuck me that as i pull off the shoulder of my top and push his fingers onto my nipple, that he can cum on the outside my cunt and cream the skirt.

Then we dress for dinner, coMMANdo! With me in a navy sheer top over a cream cami and yoga skirt.

We came back to the room and slipped into the tub for a Me likey.

For breakfast, I sat on his face and he ate my cunt. Then I wouldn’t fuck him. Just kept saying no until it got so late we wouldn’t have enough time to get down to the restaurant to eat before his session. Cutting it close, I made him fuck me fast so we’d still be able to rush downstairs. But I took the poke up against the window with my yoga skirt up in the back, wondering how many people out there were drifting off to find a good local church. No one looked up and stared, though a few did glance up. They weren’t obvious though if their looks lingered.

After a quick tidy up we breakfasted and I swam and we checked out cruised a few girlclothes shops until I found a great summer dress with which to drive home in, coMMando! Of course.

He dropped me off and I felt nothing like a prostitute. I felt like a girl on more than a one night stand. It lasted 3 days, but it was much like a one night stand, which is usually not prostitution. Sure I got food, clothes, travel, rooms, uninterrupted naps, etc. but when i go out on dates, the fellow [only if he’s new] pays for dinner and a movie/play/cover and usually drives. And buys me liquor. And I either fuck him or i don’t.

Prostitutes have sex for money.

What’s the difference?

My Goddess of Hippy Chicks

This is ApertureScience at As I get older I enjoy finding younger people to envy. It makes the narcissist in me think that some older people envied me when I was young.

But that’s irrelevant. Age is an illusion.

I have smaller titties than this gem, but hip-wise, I’m in the ball park. Especially in the proportion department.

I wear skirts at work and people think I have a huge ass. I have a volumptuous ass. Thank you so much for licking and sucking it my beautiful friends!

But when I wear jeans, I get drooling stares. Jeans. Skirt. Night and day. Boys are such one-dimensional hormones sometimes. But I love them for that. Everyone grows. Or most do anyway.

The ApertureScience sex tip is obvious. Embrace your hips. Straddle potential is huge. More to love. Room for two or three cocks to slide all over it. I pity the 97 pound petite girls sometimes because once a couple boys get all over them, the boys are bumping hips trying to move cocks around to cool places.

And it’s easy to overwhelm a petite pelvic cavity sometimes too. That can feel good, but it’s also limiting.

But the biggest self-esteem boost I’ve received on my ass was actually ON my ass. Met a boy, became friends. Sought out benefits. Went drinking. Went to his place. Got inside the door and started making out inside the door. I excused myself to the bathroom to take off my panties and replace my jeans. I exited the bathroom and he was there. He propped me against the wall and turned me around and started rubbing his cock on my ass while grabbing it and squeezing it and pulling my hips towards him.

I feebly reached back to tug at his jeans to get his cock out, so he helped out. So I bent over to get the meaty inside of my ass over his cock and the second he pushed his cock back onto my jeans, grabbing my hips, he came.

Soaked my jeans and my blouse. He was really sorry and I loved it. I love making boys cum, especially when they’re so excited by my body and that time my ass.

And once that first cum was outta the way we were still able to get some good humping in throughout the night. Can’t let a good night go to waste, doncha know!

And so the moral of the story is really simple. Boys love asses. If some boy thinks my ass is too big, that’s usually just a shallow first impression. Once I put it in motion and in play and all over him, and I want to fuck him, he opens up like the blood filled cock that he is sometimes.

And my ass is his and he likes it. Luscious and lovely.

And that my friends is why hippy chicks are killer grinders. Line up and take your fucking like a man!

Sex Tip #16: Get it While You’re Young

[Don’t look at the pix at the end of this post until then.] ๐Ÿ™‚

Gravity. I remember it. Or rather I remember when it wasn’t such a big deal.

At times I’ve lamented being sexually inactive before [gasp] 22. and the 7-9 years before then of not using my breasts to their fullest potential.

And I’m not complaining that I’m old and saggy and physically repulsive. I love my bod and appreciate it for all it is. But my gf is 19. I’m 26. Gravity exists for her, but not to the degree it does me.

And i get in moods sometimes when i regret my celibate teen years. But regret tends to replace lessons from various chapters in life. So I avoid giving in to regret.

The tip here is not to be a fuck-whore teenage Christian girl. The tip is to at the very least, enjoy your breasts and maybe share them with someone you are fond of. While yer under 20. That’s it.

So this pix, I saw it with buddy tonight. He liked this awesome cheerleader. And in my mind, I remembered breasts that had a stranglehold on gravity as these do.

Ah the good old days. ๐Ÿ™‚

But at least I have my gf!

Making it into the New Year…and Sex Parties.

ok, so major apologies for being away.

late november became the usual paper and exam crunch time

it was also [work] research projects due.

then it all ended and my body goes HEY, TIME TO GET SICK cuz the semester’s over. then it was sleep for a few says and some rehabilitory sex…that’s always fun…and it’s the holidays.

thanks for your emails about the holidays. some of you had interesting times…far more interesting than me. i envy you for that.

and those of you that have only HINTED at the fuck fests you’ve been in, especially ones surrounding church christmas pageant events…COME ON. you gotta gotta share. just SAYING you had good times is mean to me. look at what i put in here! and i won’t blog what you say without your permission. if you read all the way through this you’ll see that.

ok, then. time for some of you to fill in the details.

and for those of you who were forthcoming, thank you. i respect that. ๐Ÿ™‚

i respect the rest of you too. ๐Ÿ™‚

so after holidays with roommates/friends/boytoy it has been time to gear up for the new year. oh, and christmas was warm and spiritual in our home this year. even though my two female roomies aren’t so much into the religion thing, my gayboy roomie and i got to a new level of spiritual convergence. i loved that. unexpected but awesome. god works wonderfully.

so new year’s. i was talking tonight to a girl i know who’s a bit younger then me. we were talking about fuckfests/sex parties and such. i mentioned that i knew some girls in university [my first disastrous school i went to where i came out of my sexual and conservative christian shell] who got into sex parties in high school. not always intercourse orgies, but events where some of that happened, but lots of sucking and fingering and boys cumming on boobs.

my young friend tonight hasn’t been into that and i said that she should host a sex party. not like 40 people, but a few. folks who don’t necessarily want to swap bf/gf, but people who’d get off getting off with others getting off.

and she described to me a party she went to last night with 2 other couples. she was a 5th wheel. and i started asking her how it would have been if some nasty stuff got going.

i really think she should host a party like that.

ground rules:

– condoms
– full consensual activities
– acceptable to just watch others
– no swapping required
– some good booze and pot
– self-pleasure is acceptable
– leaving at any time is fine

and maybe some others if you can think of them.

so all this is all leading up to the point of the post: our new year’s sex party. it was me and my boytoy and my two female roomies in one of my roomies’ mom’s cabin. [they call them cottages here, i don’t know why]. lol

up there new year’s eve with enough booze and pot to last until last night. except i was the only one to bring pot because boytoy forgot it, tho he swears he packed it. that means the last day or so we were just mildly booze-buzzed instead of sublimed out.

so what was the sex party. i used to date one of my roomies. now we just fuck. my other roomie and me started fucking a little over a year ago. i was part of her bi initiation. and my two roomies also get on with each other. and of course, i fuck my boytoy, but neither of them do.

so, being the organizer of the week away, i ended up getting to fuck everyone. the perks of being the host: inviting all who you wanna get into.

and boytoy only fucked me. tho he fucked himself many a times while the rest of us were at it.

the sex tip here is that hosting a sex party with participants who are hyper-comfortable with each other and ground rules is an amazing time. ours lasted 4 days. and there was even a strange clarity that came from the last 2 nights with no pot. i gotta look into that some more i think.

and as part of my views of a christian-compatible sexlife, all 4 of us honoured ourselves and each other in our activities. there was always respect, always freedom, never compulsion, and always intimacy. it was a beautiful end to holidays before school swings back in on monday [well tuesday for me, thank god].

and as i send this to my young friend, i wish her good imaginings and hearty plannings for her first sex party. i recommend she [and all the rest of you] write out a wish list of all the things you’d like to get out of such a party. if it’s inviting a couple and 2 other singles over or 2 couples or whatever, figure out the best case scenario for what you wanna do with who and invite the people who can make that happen.

then, it’s not about setting up the party so you can get that, but looking at the other half of it all: who do you want to pleasure.

and the success of the party comes in the intersection of those things. people getting as much as they hope for and giving as much as they can.

that describes my week to a T. and i hope my young friend can get herself some nice teen cock, pussy and breasts before she grows too old. and as always, i’m open to her and anyone else who wants to talk more about the logistics of getting this all done.

becoming a respected sex party host is a wonderful thing. believe me.

in touch,

Hating the Sin[ner], Loving the Sinner

UPDATED October 25, 2007 [see the end]

ok. yall can be the judge of this.

here is an email exchange between me and this fellow. he’s starting to bug me, and for good reason. i’ve taken the nested replies and reversed the order here so you can read for yourself in order how it has flowed and where it changed. if i’m in the wrong, dear readers, i know you’ll let me know. ๐Ÿ™‚

first i get this email [in pink] from a website i’ve signed up at. it’s not spam. then i reply to the email and i get a reply and back and forth for a bit.

Christian Singles Newsletter vol.:2007-5
Dear Friends:

Well hello and welcome to the Christian Dating Service PLUS! September 2007 singles newsletter!

Times sure flies by! Can you believe that Fall is upon us? I don’t know about you, but I absolutely love this time of year. In my neck of the woods we have leaves turning beautiful shades of orange, yellow and red, cool, starlit evenings and the signs of Harvest all around us in the form of pumpkins, corn, cranberries and other choice crops.

Ever notice how Harvest Time always happens at just the right time? It’s a great sign of God’s faithfulness and love for us, in providing exactly what we need to survive and prosper.

I know many reading this may be wondering when their “harvest” regarding that special Christian dating relationship may happen. I personally know how difficult it is in times like these, but as you wait on the Lord for that special someone, pray over these verses:

~If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us allโ€”how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?~ Romans 8:31,32

Did you know that we have a team of folks praying for you all collectively? But if you have personal
prayer request or want to get in touch with us for some other reason, just let us know anytime 24/7, and we will get back to you promptly. You can also leave your comments on our site.
Hey, do you know that God desires a relationship with you? If you’re not sure about His love and great plan for you life, please be sure to check this out!
Hope you enjoy our Christian Singles Newsletter…Please remember me in your prayers…
Cheers and Blessings!
Romans 15:13
Christian Singles Newsletter Table of Contents:
>>> A Short Announcement
>>> Favorite Singles Cartoon of Month
>>> Christian Dating and Romance Tip
>>> Relationship Quote of the Month
>>> Most Popular Article of Month
>>> A Featured Christian Podcast of the Month from a Church geared toward Singles
>>> Our Favorite Love Song Lyrics of the Month
Note: We need YOU! Christian Dating Service PLUS! is successful because of the Lord and you. We get most of our stuff from you, so if you have a dating tip, a singles related podcast or article, idea topics for our upcoming Forum, a love poem, survey questions or love song lyrics that you’d like to share with tens of thousands of other Christian singles, send it on out. We’ll be happy to use it, and acknowledge you by linking back to you. I figure if we all help each other, we’ll all be blessed in the process. Sounds good?

>>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Announcements-
1) As noted in our previous newsletter, a we are getting ready to put up a forum where Christian singles can talk directly with each other on a variety of topics that interests them. If you are interested in helping out, or have any idea about this, please get in touch with us. We get hundreds of singles each month wishing to reach out directly with others, and we see this as a great way to do it.
2) In our last newsletter I wrote that our SINGLES SURVEY results on dating and church attendance would be released on our site on 9/9/07! However, being in the hospital four times in the last few weeks has set us back a week or two. I apologize, and will be releasing results on our site with cool charts shortly. Here are some interesting finding so far:
a) Both single men and single women who avoid church (attend less than 1x per month) gave the top reason for singles doing so is because church is more structured toward married folks. Do you agree or disagree?
b) Never married single gals worry most about money/bills and then their dating life; Never married single guys worry most about dating relationships followed by their careers. What do you make of that?
Feel free to write an article on either one of the survey findings
>>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>>> Favorite Singles Cartoon of the Month
Just your typical Christian singles group….
Read here about other Christian singles groups “benefits” you may want to consider.
Special thanks to Jeff Larson at Back Pew Greeting Cards.
>>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>>> Christian Dating and Romance Tips-
Top 7 Reasons You May Want to Try Online Christian Dating…

>>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>>> Relationship Quote of the Month-
~Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.~Mark Twain
>>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>>>Most Popular Article of Month-
Inquiring minds want to Know Why Good Christian Girls Date Bad Guys…

>>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>>>Featured Christian Podcast of the Month from a Church geared toward Singles
Many singles are worried about money, bills and debt….Cheer up, help is on the way:
By the way…do you have an audio or video podcast or MP3 message regarding the Christian single life you would like broadcasted to tens of thousands of singles each month worldwide? Just let us know, and we’ll be glad to help out!
>>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>>> Our Favorite Love Song Lyrics of the Month
Have You Ever Been In Love? Celine Dion
Have you ever been in love
You could touch the moonlight
When your heart is shooting stars
You’re holding heaven in your arms
Have you ever been in love?
Have you ever walked on air, ever
Felt like you were dreamin’
When you never thought it could
But it really feels that good
Have you ever been in love?
Have you ever been in love
You could touch the moonlight
When your heart is shooting stars
You’re holding heaven in your arms
Have you ever been in love?
The time I spent waiting for something
That was heaven sent
When you find it don’t let go
I know…
Have you ever said a prayer
And found that it was answered
All my hope has been restored
I ain’t looking anymore
Have you ever been…
Some place that you ain’t leavin’
Somewhere you gonna stay
When you finally found the meanin’
Have you ever felt this way?
The time I spent waiting for something
That was heaven sent
When you find it don’t let go
I know…
Have you ever been in love?
You could touch the moonlight
You can even reach the stars
Doesn’t matter near or far
Have you ever been in love?
Have you ever been in love?
So in love

>>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Note: You have received this newsletter because you either signed up for it, or were referred by a friend.
To stop receiving this please just
let us know.
ยฉ Christian Dating Service PLUS! 2007

holly holly wrote:
thanks for this. nice to get the updates.

tho i can do without celine dion lyrics. i’m so over her. ๐Ÿ™‚

in touch,
Sex Tips for Christian Girls

david wrote:

Dear Holly:
You’re a funny chick. Also, although I don’t agree with your views on your blog, you are a very compelling writer. Are you really from Vancouver, I have a cousin, and she’s a pastor there. So tell me what you’re really like?

holly holly wrote:
thanks for the compliments on my humour and writing. both have come a long way in the last half decade.

i consider vancouver my hometown. i grew up 5 hours from there [not going back there] and always gravitate home to vancouver when not at school. i did do a year at ubc there early on. it had its ups and downs, but the city seeped into my heart.

i also attended several different kinds of churches while i was there. which denomination is she a pastor in?

what am i really like? well, i believe in truth. i’ve lived too much of my life with people lying around me so i live a hard core version of truth now. thus my blog. it’s not fiction or fantasy [except for some of the fantasies in there]. it’s me. what am i really like? i think my blog expresses that. that’s what blogs are supposed to do.

and i don’t know you or anything or how old you are, so i don’t know if this would be relevant or out of place, but “chick” is a sexist, demeaning and infantilizing term when applied to a woman. i use it with some of my friends and vice versa. but it isn’t used with strangers. nigger is used by some of my black friends. i don’t use it though, for the same reason. and if you didn’t mean to be demeaning, then i take no offense, but it’s something you should watch out for.

in touch,

david wrote:
what a shame, Holly! for a minute there I thought you were refreshing and interesting and truly liberal in the best sense. Now it appears you are just another politically correct person (chick, babe, slut, hey you fill in the blanks) who lets the speech of others affect them. is it insecurity that effects people in this way? Would you be offended if I told you to kiss my white ass? poor little girl. I’m sure your choice of words in your blog offends people. but do you care? hell no. So grow up Ok? and stop being such a hypocritical weasel. I want you to know that I still love you, so please keep in touch.

holly holly wrote:
just another politically correct person? wow. how can it be so easy to dismiss and minimize me for something honest i say. do you say negro or coloured person to talk about blacks or african americans? would someone be “just another” politically correct black person if they asked you to not refer to them as coloured?

do you refer to single women as miss or ms.? if you say miss, are you offended when people ask you not to? do you say ms.? then my point is made. do you say ms. grudgingly? then you may never GET my point.

so am i insecure or weak if someone else’s speech affects me? if you were to call black people niggers would you expect them to not be offended? wow.

i believe i am strong enough to let someone know when they offend me. if it is weak to be offended, then you may be betraying a white, judeo-christian demographically dominant insensitivity. or maybe that is as out of line, stereotypical and offensive of me as you are continuing to be with me.

and now i’m wondering how you would define a “liberal in the best sense”…what kind of personality traits would make your “best” liberal? i’m not sure i’d WANT to exhibit any of those traits.

i don’t care if your ass is white or not. i’m not offended by you expressing the anger towards me that makes you want me to kiss your ass. i can take that. i can handle that. it’s just a “no thanks” from me.

why do you think i don’t care that people are offended by my blog? how could you possibly know this? i value a greater good that i’m pursuing than just avoiding offending people. if the “language” of my blog were completely unoffensive [which couldn’t happen based on what i write about], then the content would offend people. when people send me emails about what’s wrong with me and my blog [and tina…], they don’t complain about language. they don’t like the content. i respect their feelings. i’ve BEEN where they are. i’ve believed those things. i write my blog to offer girls a sense of another way. if they change, great. if they don’t, fine. everyone chooses their life choices.

i’m only hypocritical in your eyes because you’ve decided you know the answer to the question you ask about me. that’s condescending and presumptuous.

and i’ll tell you something. of all the hate/disagreement email i’ve received from my blog, the ones i respect are from christians who demonstrate consistency in their own responses to my blog. people who act with some sense of respect that i’m a different person from them. people who don’t demonstrate condescension to me while claiming they love me. people who do not slide into demeaning personal attacks. people who are apparently upstanding enough that if they were to run a christian dating website that they’d be able to not tell me to kiss their ass, tell me to grow up, presume they know me enough to speak for me then call me hypocritical and a weasel, then say at the end what has become the bumpersticker of christian fundamentalist hypocrisy: i still love you. after you’ve been this rude to me. hate the sin, love the sinner. does that work with hate the sin [and offend the sinner] and love the sinner? doesn’t wash with me. it never has and you’ve perpetuated why it doesn’t.

i tell you, if i treated people’s complaints about my blog with the dismissiveness as you have treated me when i told you one little thing about how millions of women feel about the word “chick” i think you may have far more problems playing nicely with others than you might think i have.

this is why when i wrote the chick thing i was humble enough to say a few things:

“and i don’t know you or anything or how old you are, so i don’t know if this would be relevant or out of place,”

“and if you didn’t mean to be demeaning, then i take no offense, but it’s something you should watch out for.”

i write these things because i KNOW that i barely know you and email is often tough to get a true sense of a person’s communication style. those were disclaimers that apparently didn’t work. and now i’m thinking it wasn’t worth the effort.

so you still love me and you want me to please keep in touch? my question of you is why? i am not a kind of person who will roll over when people answer questions for me, call me a weasel, tell me to kiss their ass and grow up. i had exactly enough of that kind of controlling behaviour in the church i grew up in. if you wish to try that nonsense on me now any further, you’ll get me assertively telling you to stick your condescension back in whatever twisted interpretation of the bible you MAY feel justifies your way of communicating with virtual perfect strangers.

wow. you are sure a piece of work. in the end, i stand by my words. i wonder if the words you just sent to me you would feel comfortable posting on your own godly christian singles website. in fact, i dare you to post them there. if you are the kind of person with the “integrity” to send these words to me in a private email, are you also the kind of person who is willing to post them on your site?

please reply to this one, because i need to know whether or not to post all of this on MY website. i stand by my words. do you?

in touch,

david butler wrote:

Dear Holly:
Now that’s what I’m looking for! Some spunk and passion! Holly I believe in a free exchange of ideas.I just speak my mind, and if others are offended, well I’m sorry. It’s just not my heart to hurt people. My whole point in my last discourse with you is that people are too sensitive nowadays, and should not be offended by the words of others. You called me a Fundamentalist. I can handle it. (By the way, I’m not a Fundy). Fundamentalists hate my site because I dare talk about Taboo subjects like masturbation. And I am not dismissing or minimizing you. Just stop judging folks by their words. Words mean nothing. It’s actions that count. If you’ve seen hypocrisy in other Christians before, and been hurt by them, you’ve probably had someone say one thing, yet do another. I do love you, and if we were speaking in person, you would see that I am just a REAL and warm and passionate person who love Jesus, but just says it like it is. Of course you can put this on your site, who cares?
Your friend,

holly holly wrote:

well now you’ve got me confused enough to end this.

it’s just not your heart to hurt people, yet you speak your mind and if others are offended you’re sorry. that’s a little inconsistent.

people are too sensitive, so you bait me. ok. i see. that says a lot about you.

you don’t believe people should be offended by others’ words. you still haven’t answered my question about whether you call black people niggers. i assume you don’t. if you don’t you’re lying about people shouldn’t be offended by others’ words. if you do call black people niggers, you are disgusting. either way, this makes you look at best inconsistent, at worst sociopathic.

your love for me is extraordinarily uncomfortable with your ease at abusing me, then saying you don’t wish to offend. this is classic mind-fuck. you are a sick person.

words do not mean nothing. if you truly believe they don’t, you should start saying nigger regularly and see what nothing means. if you think words OUGHT to mean nothing, you haven’t experienced systemic discrimination or abuse as many minorities have. i pity your privilege.

you are a sad, inconsistent individual with a godly sounding website and a heart of manipulation and self-centredness.

and you sign it “your friend”. this shows how clearly deluded you are. if you believe i can see you as a friend because you say you love me i truly weep for your sense of reality.

do not contact me again.

no longer in touch,

And the final nail in this fuck’s coffin: he’s been full of lies. It’s like that old cartoon that shows two dogs, one on a computer, saying to the other “On the internet noone knows you’re a dog.” And there’s always a chance that he isn’t the brother, but the fellow himself trying to distance himself from his pig-dogness. Either way, he re-affirms my sense of the depravity of people. I’m just glad that real people in my life are honest…and many online too, which is nice. But this guy’s a prick:

david butler wrote:

This is the classic attack of a liberal who is not really liberal: Instead of attacking the attack the person…..By the way, I don’t run this web site, nor do I write for it or believe in it. My brother David does….He needed used MY email address (see above) write his stupid ass newsletter to all you people because his server broke down one day….Me…I was just having fun with all you sad idiots who have no better time than to read his shit….so gullible…
By the way, if you’re ever in seattle, drop by and have a drink with me at college avenue southwest. You obviously need a man(23) in your life.

Sex Tip #10: Nipple Flashing for Fun and Profit!

i’m a feminist and all that, but i’m also sensible. we live in an anti-woman society. we get paid 71% of what men do [5 years ago it was all the way up to 72% so it’s going down!], and we are biologically at greater risk of STIs than boys.

i had a long msn chat conversation with a gal friend recently who’s a MILF with a 15-ish year old son, whose friends turn her on. we talked alot about how to feel erotic about playing a MILF for the friends [one in particular] without having to go and have sex with the boy. and i told her what i do with my blouses and bras sometimes.

i brought it up in an email exchange with a new online bud tonight when i mentioned that i’m staying with buddy rent-free this summer in exchange for sex. which i guess makes me a prostitute. but then he’s not some smelly geek. he’s buddy from many postings last summer. my vancouver boytoy. good relationship. friend with lots of benefits but an open relationship. quite healthy actually. and if two people live together and one doesn’t work [even a wife/husband], doesn’t that person participate in a relationship [including fucking] for “rent.” here’s what i wrote in my emails:

“i am finding young boys to buy me drinks as my summer wad of cash is almost gone and my flight back to school isn’t for another week and a bit. not hard. put on a loose fitting top, do up my bra one clasp too big and i get all the belinis i want all night.”

and what do the guys get for a $6 belini or two, a relatively cheap peep show, that frankly is 30-90 minutes of the tease of trying to see nipple, getting to glance down my top quite a bit and maybe not even being lucky enough to see a nipple. and they like to talk with girls and buying us a drink lets them do it for a while. and while most of them aren’t interesting enough to date, they’re all [ok virtually all] interesting enough as PEOPLE to have a conversation with. and if they like to look at my chest, i feel erotic. nice deal all around. but a $6 belini [or even 2 or 4] doesn’t get a random boy a fuck, a blowjob or a handjob. even hookers charge way more than that.

so in my emails tonight, my new online buddy replied how i make “slutty-chic look easy” and that he wished he could fuck for rent sometimes.

this is where i hit my brainstorm in my reply…

“guys CAN fuck for rent. they just have to change society, get rid of chauvinism, pay women 100% of what men make not 72% and then they get EQUALITY! men’s suffragettes need to get active. you are an oppressed gender. time to heal society so you get what we get. and i’m hardly chic. i TRY but i dont have the fashion sense to pull it off. letting guys peek at my breasts in hopes of seeing a nipple requires NO chic whatsoever.”

that’s my genius wisdom tonight. it’s not often that girls have the upper hand at anything. i get “free” room and “free” drinks all summer. many different types of feminism object to these methods and i totally understand their arguments. i can’t even object to them and prove them wrong. all i can say is that while things are unequal, i have the right to seek some redress sometimes.

and if you like the braless sex tip last time, this one should fit right in. ๐Ÿ™‚

in touch,
Sex Tips for Christian Girls