Sex Tip #15: Your Cross Need Not Be Hidden

ok the cloudiness today wasn’t welcome, but it was warm and wreck beach was sublime.

not too much pot, not too much booze. just enough pita and humous.

i went with tina. who is fucking amazing every month that goes by, even moreso.

near us and down the sand slope a bit were 2 asian girls having a good time. got there before us. kept their bikini bottoms on. made it more alluring.

tina, while not a raging bisexual, has enjoyed some of the girl fruits and appreciates beauty. she liked their bums. me too.

so they spent lotsa time topless but later in the day started doing the top on, but untied to avoid tan lines.

in the end of it all, they seemed to have a good day and got ready to leave. tops tied back on and starting to gather their gear on the little rolled wooden blanket thing they had. and one of these girls leans over to reach something, leaning in our direction. i’m looking at tina and seeing them in the background.

and this girl’s nipple slips out of her top towards the middle of her cleavage. very pretty. nothing we hadn’t seen, but with more allure now that its a forbidden peek. lol

and when she rolls back after grabbing an empty water bottle her friend tells her she’s popped out. and she blushes. very funny. and so duh, her friend bugs her for blushing. priceless.

but here’s where the sex tip comes in.

this nipple flasher finishes getting dressed to head back up to clothed reality, and puts a gold cross back on around her neck.

which means i guess that when they arrived she took it off. perhaps so jesus wouldn’t see her being naked or half naked. and i don’t want to judge because it’s really important to allow people to deal with their own boundaries with naturality their own way. but i sorta thought it would be better if she didn’t feel the need to take it off.

because i don’t think jesus would hate her for lying topless on the beach for an afternoon.

and in the end i can’t relate because i don’t wear a cross. so i can’t really put myself in her shoes. but you get my point.

so ya. don’t hide your cross. even when you’re at a nude beach. 🙂


Adultery R Us

Ok, so adultery is a sin. I get it. The ten commandments are “carved in stone” and all that, but we need to get over a few things.

One. People’s lives are flux. Marriages come and go. We can pretend this is not happening but that just makes us blind and stupid. Good things are people who need to split, to split.

That said, it’s time for a confession. I slept with a married man once. OK, three times, but it was one affair. This all comes up cuz a bud on myspace filled out a survey. one of the questions was about what she’d do if a married guy approached her. she said she’d tell him to buzz off, etc.

That’s cool. To each their own, eh.

So contextually, all adultery is wrong? It’s not perfect, i’ll grant that. but i’ll also say in a context it can be healthy. let me explain.

So i knew this guy a few years ago. Me=early twenties, him late twenties. He was already married like 5 or 6 years. His wife was no good. Well, that’s easy for me to say. But she wasn’t. I like sarcasm, but when it’s mixed with condescension and judgement, it’s just ugly.

She was one of the church ladies at one mostly lame church i attended. and she wasn’t 62 years old and bitter, she was the new generation of church lady bitches for whom everyone has something flawed about them. The salt stain on the bottom of my skirt was one day that winter an unfortunate thing i let happen on the way to church, she said. i could not believe she said that out loud. I’m like, what is her concern, that i’ve ruined my skirt? Dishonoured Jesus? Offended the clean people? i couldn’t get it. in the end, i just figured her for a bitch. she stood around after church eyeing everyone, waiting to see if something needs fixing. and when she helped out, it wasn’t cuz you needed it, but because she needed to fix you. wow. i’m still angry about her.

But the funny thing is that i didn’t know she was Phil’s wife. “Phil” was in a christian club at UBC with me, which is where i saw him most compared to only sometimes at this church. he was one of the less hyper-evangelical ones in the club at UBC. he was more relaxed. he was also a bit of a flirt. and that was good. i had come out of my uptight virgin place. i still hadn’t gotten into my bi-is-so-much-fun phase and i was freshly single after leaving a mostly loser guy. this was the guy who felt it would be a good sign of my love for him to let him fuck me up against the window of my dorm room. not that there’s anything wrong with that, except for how that worked in our dynamic. i just checked the rest of my blog. i never wrote about him. there’s something else for the list.

anyway, phil was a flirt and i liked him. his wife wasn’t into the christian club. she didn’t go to school. she was a dental assistant. she wasn’t “gifted” in evangelism she said. that was so true. she was gifted in offending people. but as i said i didn’t know she was his wife.

anyway, the Ridge bowling lanes in Vancouver are lotsa fun. there’s a quiet side there with a just a few lanes that can be rented out nicely by a big enough but small group. our club went there on and off. and one night after the bowling, Phil and I just kept talking. We ended up at Benny’s bagels chatting til midnight or so and in that time, he had pretty much described who he is and why his wife is not good for him and vice versa. and i totally believed him. and not just cuz i thought he was cute. and i’ve never had cause to disagree with my judgement that night.

so we went back to my dorm room and fucked. it was really nice. and very juicy, the good kind. and he went home and met me again after church the next day while his wife and her gaggle of grim gals went for lunch. we fucked some more and then the next sunday too.

and all the time, i was like, you are a great guy, why is your life so fucked up that you are sneaking around with me. and i told him this. and i said, i’m glad to fuck him to get him to see what kind of life he’s in and what kind of life he should consider: the not being married kind. and not so he could be with me, because he was so damaged, but some people need to be PUSHED to make a decision. and he totally put me into his life so that i could push him. that’s what i thought anyway. and i think i was right.

and as the school year was ending and i had drifted out of that club, i ran into him at the student union building. he still had a wedding ring and i pointed that out. he said he and his wife went to Keats Camp for a marriage encounter thing a few weeks after our affair. he didn’t say if he told her about me and i didn’t ask. and one off-hand remark about her at the end of our conversation about something she said at the church made me put 2+2=why the fuck did he ever marry her: it was something about jesus being a kind of orange blossom. she said it one sunday night when she was the MC hosting a night welcoming a missionary to the church. i was there. i heard it. i knew THAT ghoulish woman. and it turns out that when he said something like “that night when my wife was talking about jesus as the orange blossom…” it also occured to me that he thought that i had known all along who his wife was. i wish i did. i would have put even more effort into fucking him.

at any rate. that was him. sounds like he tried to get his marriage to work. i hope he eventually told her about his affair. and if not fine. i did find out the next year through the hushed scandal whispers of some girls from the UBC club i bumped into that he had gotten a divorce. they said it in the context of how it hampered his evangelical credibility. i fucking bet it did. 🙂

so i’m glad at least he got out of that deal.

so. adultery. not that i think it’s all that awesome all the time. but it can certainly be the kind of flick to the head that people need to inspire them to look honestly at themselves and say wtf.

so he said wft. and i think i had a good part of that. yay me. and in the end if you are still 100% against adultery, i’d just like to say that there is black and white and grey and all the other colours of the rainbow. if you still think there is just black and white, i wanna say, why do you own a colour tv. get a grip.

in touch,

Sex Tip #3: Talk to Jewish Girls

i can’t believe its been months since a formal sex tip showed up. SORRY! i’ve meant to do more, but life as life took over. the 3rd tip comes soon.

a bunch of things to catch up to today though. i like michelle branch, the singer. she sings well with santana. she should be his lead singer permanent.

the girl at Maiwa at the net loft. i cruised back, TWICE to see if she’s there. outta luck. i’ll try more. i am too shy to even talk to her, i just wanna see her again. she’s amazing to look at.

me and sanna went to sandbar thursday, the day after her “21st” birthday. it turns out sanna is a bit of a liar. she just turned 19. that made her 18 at sunshine valley. she acts alot older than she is. obviously. i found out more why. she was an only child until she was about 10. her folks lived in southern Sudan, the Christian part she says. i don’t know much about African Christian geography, though.

anyway, Sudan is not a wonderful place for Christians. they spent some time in Kenya once they got out, then Marseille, a place she was always scared in at her young age then. her folks eventually settled in Oshawa of all places before they moved out to the coast where her dad’s in chemical engineering. whew. anyway it was tough moving and running around. sanna grew up fast i guess and acts with a self-assureness that bud and his bro don’t even have. but that’s no sweat.

but i think she’s still missing some youthful vitality because life’s been more serious for her then for most Canadians. and what she’s not really experienced she just doesn’t talk about. that lets her appear more mature than other girls her age. not that she’s not that mature, but she needs to party more. 🙂

anyway, that was thursday. sandbar was a blast and we got goodly loaded and came home.

what’s home. ok offtopic here but tough shit.

i’m housesitting for a couple of late 40s yaletown garried guppies. huh? i was too hungover to goto the dyke march today, but char did. she told me someone there told her about being garried. gay+married=garried. pretty cool. guppies=gay yuppies.

my uncle pete knows these guys. one of their sisters is an actor in town. you can imdb her, which is very very cool. but it’s all the shit films and shows they show here, not even x-files which she hated anyway. anyway uncle pete’s in town and is spending time with this woman, “sara”. and her bro and his husband and in new zealand for august doing some gay thing and she’s housesitting, but pete’s taken her to tofino to kayak up into some rainforest. and thus we’re housesitting. me and sanna.

i’ve been here since wednesday. sanna came over to crash thursday night and is still here.

uncle pete needs a mention. i love uncle pete. he’s the only sane member of my family. my dad’s an asshole and far far far far away, my mom’s a recovering doormat, my sister was awesome, she’s gone though. i miss her alot. uncle pete is my mom’s only brother. he still lives in the 80s. he had a mullet until last year [it worked for him though] when he went all Bronsky Beat. i’m still trying to figure out what that means. i know it was an 80s British band that i think was gay. but i don’t get the hair reference yet. anyway, pete’s hair is now a cm long. he looks good. he always looks good. 🙂

anyway, about 10 years ago when my “family” was still together [in its very broken way] pete spent a summer with us. my dad was in and out of town on “business” [his ho in Prince George] and i got to get a sense of who my mom was before she conceived me, married the sperm donor and started becoming what is a mild tragedy. she sounded cool. pete is cool, though. since the mid 90s, i’ve been caring for his LP collection. i like 80s music. his 45s from the 70s are pretty special too.

my email address includes sunmoonwindrain which is from a Tears for Fears song from my second favorite of their albums, Seeds of Love. my fave is The Hurting, especially Suffer the Children, for obvious reasons.

pete emails sometimes and tells me lonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng stories about what he’s doing. his material possessions [aside from his albums] fit in a car’s trunk. he travels around the USA singing, busking, picking up short term bike courier stuff with a company with offices in tons of cities. and he writes songs, hits Burning Man [i have to go], and generally marches in anti-war rallies and sleeps on couches of US military deserters homes who are themselves living under the radar a bit.

sometimes i’m on msn and pete will ding me and we’ll talk for hours. sometimes he sends things to me in the mail that i know are from him. an In and Out burger tshirt from Arizona. a beer mug from a bar in New Orleans that i fear isn’t there anymore. with that one he sent a pix of him on a hotel balcony during Mardi Gras. 4 bottomless women holding their shirts up to show their tits stood all around him. 2 of them had gooned expressions. good times. 🙂 and another pix of him in a glass hotel elevator with a woman in a tight dancing dress peeling it down to show her tits. in the glass you can see a bit of a reflection of another hottie taking the pix. pete lives well.

also, some mint from Georgia. and a Fenway Park pennant from Boston. that kinda stuff.

anyway, he’s my grounding some times. moving out from home outside Penticton into Penticton, then moving to UBC, then leaving UBC, then finding a good place to continue school. he kept up solid in all those times. he wasn’t around when my family fell to real shit, but he couldn’t of done anything then anyway. but whatever.

ok. i’ve just read all this. i was gonna cut it all except the start, but sanna said no. she read my last post and this one and says i should keep it all. wtf. 🙂

ok. so the garried guppies.

i meet the sister [in imdb, the first i’ve met] on wednesday when i pack my shit in here. she’s lovely. i’m pretty sure i saw her in Bard on the Beach a few years ago, but i don’t recall which year i was there and [blush] which actual play i saw. whoops. anyway, “sara” is sweet and she and pete are goooood friends, but they’re very free people who remain commited to loving relationships. for pete it’s 3 or 4 women including sara around the continent. i can understand that.

i also have one of pete’s March for Jesus shirts from along time ago. i haven’t looked at it lately, but pete was into that for a while. i told him about reverent agnosticism and showed him my blog in and he gets it and buys it and added his Buhddist minimalism thing into it. i don’t totally get that but that’s cool. when i read Sidhartha, he says i’ll get it. 🙂

so pete and sara drift away on thursday and sanna and i hit Sandbar and come home to crash. yesterday was a spectacular day.

it was the most recent except for today, spectacular day. we ended up hitting the Folk Fest and sat on the beach on the sunday night during the full show. Jane Siberry [i have one of pete’s albums of hers. it’s got Mimi on the Beach, her famous song]. she’s changed her name to something i gotta look it up. and she’s “selling” her music online now by donations or free. getting outta the capitalism thing of it or something.

anyway, sanna and me sat on the shitty sand at Jericho to listen to awesome music. and we strolled around the vendors [the sand at Wreck is the only good non dusty, not full of sticks and front end loader tracks sand in the lower mainland. i’m a sand snob sanna says. she’s right. sanna likes her name in here. she’s gonna go by sanna now. if she does she has to pay me a loonie every time anyone calls her sanna.].

the title, remember it? Jewish girls? i’m getting there.

so we’re at Jericho not being able to afford the vendor’s stuff and when Folk Fest ends we join a drum circle. it ends cuz people said there’s another one out at Spanish Banks. this wrecked guy won’t go though, because he’s rambling about how Double Standard promised to come so he’s gotta be there. whatever. i googled double standard and i don’t know WHAT he’s talking about. we go. and we dance and dance and dance. we’re not even boozed up. we’re just in the move groove. and since we were close enough to wreck beach i took off my shirt and bikini top. another chick was wearing just a deep v-neck see thru tunic. luscious woman. i really enjoyed dancing that free. i don’t do that at wreck cuz i’m not crazy enough to stay there overnight.

sanna kept her clothes on. too bad. 🙂 though she appreciates my breasts.

well. that was Folk Fest for cheap folks. and sanna and me do our thing and get together for sandbar. yesterday we slept in until banana pancakes. and we’re sitting on the balcony, cramped as it is, watching the people in the 2 building we can see into and napping. no sex. no nudity. just boring people doing boring things. not as boring looking as us on the balcony, but boring still. we weren’t bored. talk was good.

then in mid-day i’m looking over and down a floor or two and i see this woman with shoulder length blond curly hair and blue and green plain thigh length shorts and NO SHIRT stretching against the wall of her balcony, she’s like leaning forward to stretch out her calves or something. she looked so hot. sanna saw her too. then i looked back a few minutes later and she hasn’t moved. sanna’s like, shit, that’s too wierd. we’re still hungover i think and the sun isn’t helping.

and this woman? it turns out when we stand up and look at her closer and we go inside to get a different angle through the windows, that she isn’t a woman. she’s a clay pot [her tanned back] with dead flower stems and leaves that spill abit over the edge [her hair] and sitting on a table with a green and blue plaid table clothe [her shorts]. we SCREAM laughing. if you don’t see this as funny, you need to have been there i guess.

so anyway, yesterday while in recovery, we talk about lots. sanna broke up with her bf and has seen buddy’s bro twice. living in the valley makes it tough for that situation. but they’re not dating, just fucking. no stress then. sanna’s past the born again virgin thing. though i must confess i admire her attempt at it.

and we talked about girl sex stuff and orgasms and grinding and such. she keeps track of her orgasms in her journal. she’s not afraid of everyone on the internet knowing either. very cool. 6. that’s how many. 1 in sunshine valley. 2 with bud’s bro since then. and 3 on her own in the last year. and considering that SHE JUST GRADUATED FROM HIGH SCHOOL 5 WEEKS AGO [lying bitch], i’m pretty impressed that she had orgasms while still a high school student. i read a survey once that said few girls do in high school. they have lots of sex and lots of guys cum in and on them, but they way more often don’t. tragic. feminism is not dead.

but we talked about methods and techniques and stuff and tho she knows i’m bi and isn’t interested in playing with me, she did agree to cool off yesterday in the mid afternoon heat in a nice cool bath where i could show her what i do with my vibe. it was SPECTACULAR to cum when she was watching. it was a great gift to me even if she won’t let me fuck her.

and yes, we’re getting to the Jewish girl.

ok. how about now. when i was in rez at UBC there was a Jewish girl on my floor. she had a thing on her door frame. i can’t remember what it’s called. there were also two Sikhs and a Muslim girl then two. i know they chatted together if they weren’t best friends. i was a closet christian that year so i didn’t take part in the comparative religion yaks they seem to have had. too bad. i missed out there. there’s a Jewish girl at my school now. she’s got the thing on the door.

next door to the garried guppies in this building is a Jewish girl. woman actually. she’s like 30. after our bath yesterday. we go out for some booze. she’s got a thing on her door frame. she comes out wearing a really nice white dress with red polka dots. it’s almost knee length. it’s loose at the top. with spaghetti straps. i take a peek in the elevator but see nothing. i’m tempted to drop my keys to get her to bend over to pick them up. not.

anyway, she’s heading out to dinner and a flick with her bf. we walk out into the lobby and head out towards the lickher store. we see buddy pulled up in a nice sedan and she pops into the car and waves bye. bf’s wearing a yamika. how do you spell yamika?

anyway we go get booze. and put in a call to one of my bud guys who promises to swing by with some stuff before 600pm. nice.

we get off the phone and check messages. buddy from ubc and his bro want to come into town, where am i staying, am i housesitting, do i know i owe them a place to crash for a couple nights, can they come into town early and crash before the fireworks tonight [which we can see a bunch of them from the balcony, yay]. so i tell sanna that her dad called and said she needs to come home.

ouch. the girl can PUNCH.

bud and bro swing by after 700pm and we order pizza. sanna and bro watch a movie and talk and talk and talk. i like how they talk. it’s so cool. they like to talk. but me and bud slide into the bedroom where he slides into me and i feel good. bud’s an interesting guy. i can count on one thumb how many guys i’ve met who don’t mind tasting their own cum. we fucked for a while, he came, i came close. he pulls out and i wipe a bit. then he starts licking me. i’m still cummy with sweat and my cream around, but i’ve never known a guy who’ll suck me when his [or someone else’s] cum is still in/on my pussy. bud’s a good guy. way to go bud.

we shower and go go out to catch the rest of the movie and sanna and bro are already necking and grinding. sanna goes, thank you for the last couple days, holly. this is in return for today’s lesson. and she takes bro’s shorts down, takes off hers and her panties and starts grinding on top of him on the couch beside where me and bud are sitting in the love seat. [sanna’s not even blushing right now as i’m typing this. wow. good girl.]

and she slides bro’s cock into her and lifts up and rests down on it, up and down, just for me. well, her too she says. totally. at the same time she’s doing one of the things with her clit that i showed her in the bath. and i’m just in a daze watching that white cock slide in and out of her black black pussy. such a beautiful site. and when she cums, bro is so thrilled that he cums too. they wipe up and go shower.

and that’s enough of the movie. now bud and bro have brought season 1 of 24, which we’ve never seen. i’ve seen every Alias except for one in the 3rd season, but i won’t watch 24 until i can do it right.

so i say, hey, let’s play pool first. the common room in the building is on the second floor above the lobby. it has pool and foosball and a big couch and monster tv for hockey parties or Super Bowl or whatever. we go down and it’s not booked and no one’s in, so we sign up and head in.

we play some pool. we watch 5 or 6 episodes. and bud and bro go out for some nibblies. the pot is working.

it’s like 130am.

and me and sanna are sitting in the big chair in front of the window watching the people roam around looking for the hot dog guys. there’s this one pair of guys we see go back and forth 3 times. they’re first nations. young guy has ghetto wear on and we walks with a swagger like a dealer-pimp. older guy wears shorts and a Canucks shirt and walks with the humility of the Dali Lama. i can’t get a read on them. is it just immaturity and self-consciousness that makes a guy walk like that?

anyway, before bud and bro get back, the sedan pulls up in front of the lobby door. we can see down. Jewish girl next door in her awesome dress is sitting there. car goes off. lights go off. i can see more down her dress from a floor above a high lobby than i could beside her in the elevator. nice tan i think.

they start necking. i guess this based on her body posture leaning left and his black shirted arm wrapping over her back. we can’t see their heads cuz there’s no sunroof.

this goes on for a few minutes. me and sanna are impressed. they’re right there on the street, but it is late. only like 3 people go by in the 5 minutes we watch. during that time, bf’s hand reaches between her legs twice rubbing her pussy over her dress, and up over her boob like 5 times. after the third time down to her pussy, i see her pop her head over towards the window. it’s closed. air conditioning i guess. she looks up and down the street. but not up!

then she twists in her seat and slides her panties onto the floor and lifts her skirt halfway up her thigh and lies her head back onto the headrest. we still can’t see her face.

i’ve heard that Middle Eastern girls have a reputation for being firey horny. what that’s based on is beyond me. who cares. maybe it’s a male desire of Middle Eastern girls. maybe it’s true. don’t know.

bf slides his hand back between her legs now, this time underneath. she pushes the skirt down a bit over his forearm. he starts rubbing her. she’s a fan as she’s clearly breathing heavier. bf’s other hand slides her left strap down and slides under her dress to feel all the way down to her nipple. she’s happy. after a few minutes he stops and slides his arms back. me and sanna look at each other and lean back so our faces aren’t totally up against the window but still so we can see. 15 seconds later, 2 girls walk by their car. bf’s clearly watching out for pedestrians. 🙂

another 10 seconds and he’s back into her. i’m getting wet. sanna just said she was too. good for you sanna! another few minutes go by and he stops once for a fellow walking by and then another few minutes before the girl clearly cums. she’s been holding the right arm rest generally. at one magical point she squeezes it and bends her arm to almost a right angle, lifting her torso forward and dropping her dress to show us part of her left breast.

we’re quite impressed. i’m a voyeur. i embrace it. i like to watch. i like porn, soft porn better than hard.

and so. talk to Jewish girls. my plan is to meet up with the woman next door and have a chat and get to know her and get a sense of what sex tips for Jewish girls would look like. and it might not happen. i’m only here until pete’s back. but my idea goes for all Jewish girls i meet. or Muslims or Sikhs or anyone who’s in a religion where there are codes for behaviour, regardless of whether or not they are different for guys and girls.

so if you are one of those girls, email me or comment on this and let me know what your story is. cuz i bet we have something in common.

we’re all in this together, even if each of our this-es are different. maybe it’s a chick thing. i don’t know. but it is something. and that’s why i started this blog anyway.

time to burn. fireworks starting soon, just heard a warning boom.

in touch,