Sex Tips for Christian Girls #23: You Can’t Trade Sex for Counselling. Duh.

Greetings my bitches and sperm spewers!

i hereby resolve to do more than one post in 2016. see…i’m already halfway there!

i have many updates. of friends and new friends. and semen and cunts. and visions of 2016.

but the first comes as the last key killer discussion of 2015. with one of the counsellors at my school.

she’s someone we go out drinking with on fridays and other times. she’s someone who deals in honesty and has no time for bullshit. but she is always there for people to work through their process. even if bullshit is part of that process.

this discussion is a no brainer. but there were surprising twists.

issue we hypothetically construct:

1. woman is going through an emotional or life crisis.
2. she seeks a counsellor for help.
3. she sets up biweekly appointments at over $100/hour.
4. things are going well. she’s getting into some shit. but it’s going to take some time.
5. 2 months in, she loses her job and ends up losing her west side [too expensive anyway] apartment, putting fondest memories into storage and rents a room in a shared house with a friend and some acquaintances.
6. at any rate, she can’t afford these sessions anymore as she’s on EI and is embracing the raw food lifestyle out of necessity.
7. so she phones him up to cancel her upcoming appointments.
8. he lets her come in for the next one for free.

and the issue is…and this is where my lovely zany question comes in…is it unethical for him to offer to continue treating her in exchange for no money. but just sex.

and obviously the answer is yes. deeply unethical. duh. and there’s no point even going into the reasons why. duh.

but my counsellor friend of mine and i, over far too much sangria began discussing the logistics of this anyway. and while we came up with what i recall to be over half a dozen good reasons why it’s not only unethical, but also bad therapeutic practice, we worked up the scenario anyway.

1. biweekly appointments would mean biweekly sex?
2. at, say, $135/session, that’s $270/month. so is it like she’s let him fuck her for $135 every time?
3. what if he wanted weekly sex from her? would she feel cheaper if she’s then only “getting paid” $62.50 to fuck him each time?
4. would the sex be before or after each appointment or at a completely different time?
5. her place [awkward] or his? or some neutral place? his office?
6. is there a way for her to imagine in her mind that she could get good treatment while being sexually compromised?
7. what about pro bono therapists? who wouldn’t demand sex.
8. what happens if she stops enjoying sex with him? if she never does enjoy it? what happens if she feels trapped, and not immediately, i should add?
9. and power. it’s always about power. never about the sex. so no need to delve into all that.

and while the whole conversation was about an undeniably immoral and unethical situation, we couldn’t help but keep going with the mental puzzle of how it could possibly work.

my counsellor friend, like many therapists, has had her buttons pushed during sessions sometimes and she has her own counsellor to deal with her own processes as well as triggery things that come up.

this friend has admitted to being attracted to at least one of her counsellors in her life. we’re only human. so have i. probably everyone has.

but there seems to be a logistically sensible situation in which it’s conceivable to trade sex for therapy, but beyond the hypotheticalness of it, it’s just mad.

so. by the end of it, we asked ourselves if we somehow now just love wasting our time with stupid conversations.

one one hand, yes.

on another hand, why was it such a big deal to drive through all the logistics just to see if it could hypothetically work?

no easy answer there.

all i know, is that it was compelling enough to keep our attention for enough time.

and sometimes, the only way to actually have “cards against humanity” type conversations, is to get some drunk on, get with a safe friend and actually dig in. even if you know it’s wrong. not the actual conversation, but the thing you’re talking about. cuz it doesn’t even matter.

in the end, that’s one way to know you’ve got a goooood friend! 🙂

in touch,

holly